


The Road Back

by ttttjay



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M, Sexual Content, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-01-04 20:51:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 24,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12176358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ttttjay/pseuds/ttttjay
Summary: When everything has fallen apart, sometimes the only choice is to take the long road back.Thanks toPaulinewho gave me the prompt which this is loosely based on: Aaron and Robert decide to take it slow/just do the casual dating thing.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As always huge thanks to [Zo'e](http://godamnarmsrace.tumblr.com/) for all her help
> 
> This is the first time I am writing a multi-chapter fic, so I hope you enjoy it x
> 
> Come say Hi [@ttttjay](https://ttttjay.tumblr.com/)

Aaron is trying not to watch him, he really is, but what can he say there is no way to avoid looking at the man. They may no longer wear matching rings, but he can see the one he gave Robert in the quiet of the garage almost a year ago still sitting in place. It makes him very aware of the weight missing from his own hand.

 

Lost in thought, he almost misses when Robert walks out of the coffee shop. They talk, sometimes but, okay it's been a while.

 

When Aaron can bear to look Robert in the eye and actually take the decision that he made. Robert still looks at him with a pang of sadness and regret, but also love that Aaron hopes he is not imaging. Aaron can feel the love reflected in his own heart, but in those moments, he reminds himself of the choice he made, he truly believes that the decision was right at the time. He still believes that, but as time goes on, it feels like a decision he wants to reverse, that he is in a place now where the truth has changed.

 

 

Robert has long ago stopped his attempts at trying to change Aaron's mind and has very much distanced himself from much of Aaron's personal life, although he still has a good relationship with Liv, and Aaron would never try and take that away from them. But it does mean that Aaron still hears about Robert and what he is doing from time to time, maybe it's the same for Robert and hearing about what Aaron is up to but, Aaron finds himself not being bothered by this. As time goes on it keeps up the connection that is now so intangible between them.

 

Next time he sees Robert it's in the pub, he is sitting with a pint in the corner on his phone. Aaron walks to the bar and orders himself a drink and dinner, watching Robert while waiting for the pint to be poured. There is no one else in the pub he really wants to talk to, and there is space close to where Robert is sitting, not that he is trying to be near Robert.

 

He walks over and sits down, fairly certain Robert just gave him a sideways glance as he does, but he doesn't say anything just continues to work on his phone. There is a silence between them that for once Aaron can't take and a gap that is more than just the physical space between them.

 

"Busy?" Aaron questions looking at Robert, who almost looks behind himself at the wall trying to find out who Aaron is talking to.

 

"Yeah, not bad, you?" Robert manages to croak out, almost like he is waiting for the catch in this situation.

 

 

"Yeah, just thought I would take a break," Aaron says, and he is acting like this is almost normal, just a conversation in the pub.

 

But Robert has rules; he needs them, they are keeping him from looking back and keeping him moving forward. This is not by his rules, talking to Aaron is to be only if necessary, this is not one of those times. The problem is Aaron started it, and even with the rules Robert just can't ignore him.

 

Robert doesn't know what to say at this juncture because that would be another rule broken. If talking to Aaron was necessary then there could be no personal questions. So, he just nods and takes a sip of his drink, trying to return his attention to his phone, in an attempt to ignore any tiny bit of hope that tries to push its way to the surface. That has gotten him burnt once too often.

 

Robert had long since concluded that begging and hope were getting him nowhere. Aaron seemed to accept the space and distance that Robert was putting between them and the further away Robert got; the happier Aaron appeared to be. This came to his next and current rule, move forward, now this was taking some time, he couldn't even remove his ring yet, that would just leave him with two that he didn't know what to do with. Who would have thought two silver bands of metal could cause so much heartache?

 

So, here he was trying not to make conversation with someone who had started a conversation with him, someone who he wants to talk to more than anyone in the world, to curl up with, to…

 

'No, stop, look around the pub, you are just the only person in here that Aaron would have any interest in talking to, he is just passing the time,' Robert keeps telling himself.

 

“So, what you been up to?”

 

He hears Aaron's voice knock him out of his thoughts, and that's it. He downs his drink, grabs his stuff, mumbles "Gotta go," as he's bolting for the door, leaving a confused Aaron looking at the empty space where Robert had been sat and the door swinging on its hinges


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those that have read, liked and commented
> 
> As always thanks to [Zo'e](http://godamnarmsrace.tumblr.com/)

Aaron thought he wasn't seeing Robert around the village much before, but this is different, this like he is being deliberately avoided. How is it that one tiny, non-existent conversation and Robert is nowhere to be seen? Is this how far they had fallen, had Aaron really pushed that hard? Isn't this what he wanted? He had told Robert they were over, and that there was no going back, but had he really believed it, had he really thought that Robert would actually walk away?

 

When Aaron saw Robert walking down the street; he knew that he certainly hadn't seen Aaron yet, Aaron realised if he had, he would probably be moving much quicker, seems to be what he does these days. There was no clear decision, but Aaron found himself trying to catch up with Robert, wanting to talk and not really sure what he was trying to achieve, but wanting to try and talk to Robert anyway.

 

"Hey Robert, how's it going?" Aaron starts as he comes up to walk alongside him, stuffing his hands in pockets and keeping pace.

 

Robert looks up having been in a world of his own, realising he had not seen Aaron and had not been able to make his usual get away. Now here was Aaron again acting like this was the most normal thing in the world, but Robert couldn't bring himself to make meaningless small talk with Aaron, all he could do was try and get away as quickly as possible.

 

"Not bad, bit busy, I should really make a move," Robert says while picking up the pace, trying to once again leave Aaron behind both physically and metaphorically.

 

With that Robert is gone, clearly; too busy to make conversation, leaving Aaron standing in the street trying to make sense of what the hell had just happened.

 

This is a pattern that continues with every attempt at conversation. There are lame brash excuses and swift exits. Aaron had been confused to start with as they weren't exactly close at the moment but now he was starting to really question Robert's behaviour. Concern is starting to eat at Aaron, forcing him to keep up his attempts of talking to Robert, even though Aaron is not even too sure what he would say if he managed to get Robert to stand still for five damn minutes in a row.

 

In the end, he decides that maybe he can get some answers from another source. Over breakfast, one morning he attempts to see if Liv can provide him with some answers on why Robert is avoiding him like the plague.

 

"So, what you up to today?" Aaron asks hoping that the question sounds casual and the answer would not need further questioning.

 

"Just gonna hang out at home, that okay?" she sounds almost sarcastic as she says it, the school holidays are almost finished, so she is appropriately using her last days.

 

"Not got any other plans?" Aaron continues to question really hoping to get the information he wants or maybe needs at this point.

 

"Why, do you need the place to yourself? Actually, I don't think I wanna know," she jokes pulling a face, because Aaron's never had anyone to the house.

 

"No, just wondering," Aaron replies, really trying to sound casual.

 

"Okay, what this about? You're acting dead weird," Liv is now getting properly suspicious.

 

"Nothing," he replies, and she gives him a pointed look "Seriously nothing, I was just asking."

 

"Well, seeing as you're just asking, I'm going to get on with my day in front of the telly," she responds really hoping there is not more going on because although Aaron has gotten better at it, sharing is still not his strong point.

 

Aaron huffs in frustration, making Liv give him another look.

 

"You know whatever it is you can ask," she tries again.

 

"I told you."

 

"Yeah, I know it's nothing, but if there was something," she tries to encourage.

 

Aaron spends another ten minutes, sitting at the table basically staring at the back of Liv's head before she can't take it anymore.

 

"Okay, just ask the question," she states because that's it she can't take the frustration anymore; she can basically hear Aaron's brain working away.

 

"What?" Aaron is starting to regret even asking the first question he should have known Liv would not let it go, but he is here now, so maybe he should just ask.

 

"There is a question, I can feel it, and I can't take you trying to get the answer out of me without asking it anymore, so just ask." There is stubbornness in the way she is looking at him, giving him no chance; he now must ask the question because she will never let it drop now.

 

Aaron pretty much feels like he has swallowed his tongue at that moment, trying to string a sentence together.

 

"Um…So…. I wanted to ask about um…. Rob…. Robert," he manages to get out as he stumbles over his words.

 

"Okay?" Liv replies trying to work out how far Aaron is going to go with this conversation, as the questions about Robert stopped some time ago. That being said it was clear that there was more a sheet over the situation, like a piece of furniture in storage, waiting to be giving its place back in its home.

 

"I mean, I just wanted to find out how he's doing and stuff." There he's said it, he'd asked.

 

"And you can't ask him yourself?" Liv asks confused, knowing things must be a little weird between them but she was sure they still talked; surely, he can ask Robert this himself.

 

"Well this is why I'm asking cos every time I try to talk to him, he's gone, sometimes almost before I get a sentence out and I just wondered."

 

"Well, he seems fine although…." Now that she thinks about it.

 

"What?" Aaron questions, trying to keep the concern out of his voice.

 

"I… um haven't seen him as much lately." Not that she hasn't seen him, but it has been a lot less than they normally would.

 

“How long’s that been happening?” Aaron sees this now as not just affecting him but Liv as well and that actually makes him cross.

 

"About a month, I suppose," Liv says with a shrug.

 

Aaron's not sure that answers his questions but he gives him an indication that something is going on. Almost before he can think about it, he is up and moving for the front door, with Liv shouting questions he doesn't quite hear behind him.

 

Before he can think about it, he is walking through the village to Vic's, getting to the front door he knocks. Then his thoughts catch up with him; this is a bad idea.

 

He is about to walk away when the door swings open, and Robert is standing in front of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say [Hi](https://ttttjay.tumblr.com/)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, the kudos and the comments x
> 
> as always big thanks to [Zo'e](http://godamnarmsrace.tumblr.com/)

Robert was up early, mainly because Vic had forced him to get out of bed. She was worried that he wasn't eating, so she had gotten into the habit of making him breakfast and then making sure he ate it before she had to go and start work. Now she's gone, and he has a few hours before he needs to be anywhere. He was left to either go back to bed, but it felt a little late now to do that, or get ready and go, but he didn't want to face the world just yet. So, he was left just to kill time; he had the radio playing, and a bit of work he could get out of the way that would make his day easier, just a nice quiet morning to himself.

 

That is until there is a knock at the door, not sure whom it would be he gets up to answer it almost not paying attention. As the door swings open, he almost has a heart attack when he finds Aaron standing on the other side, looking a little bit pissed.

 

"Vic's at work right now," is the only thing Robert can think to say, unsure of any other reason why Aaron would be here.

 

 He then went to shut the door, but Aaron stuck his hand out to stop it.

 

“I came to talk to you.” This was not what he was expecting to hear, but that made him want the conversation over even quicker.

 

"I am actually in a bit of a rush," he lied, it was becoming a habit again, and he tried to shut the door again, but Aaron's hand was still holding it open.

 

"Why are you avoiding Liv?" Aaron questioned seeming to ignore his earlier statement.

 

"I'm not," he said, trying to overlook the fact that he had been spending less time with her, but only to help with distancing himself from Aaron and questions, he would be trying not to ask her.

 

"But you have been seeing her less." Okay, Aaron's concern is for Liv he can deal with that.

 

"Have just been busy," he again lied. "Look I have to…" he started to try and shut the door again, but Aaron wasn't budging.

 

"And that's really all it is?" Aaron is talking again ignoring his attempts to end the conversation.

 

There is, that hope again, that Aaron still cares, but this is about Liv so of course, he cares.

 

"Look if it's really an issue I will text her arrange to see her later in the week," he's now really trying to end this conversation. He is even tempted to try and shut the door again, but Aaron seems determined to keep talking to him.

 

There is a moment's silence which Robert takes as the end of the conversation and shuts the door.

 

A deep breath later he tries not to sob; this is madness it now feels like Aaron has just opened a wound. Granted it wasn't that healed, to begin with, but the pain had become easier to ignore.  For a moment, just a moment, it seemed like Aaron cared, he realises that it was just for Liv and not for him, but it was enough.

 

So, he composed himself and went to find his phone. He had said he would arrange to see Liv, so giving himself something to focus on, he sent her a message.

 

Aaron stood looking at a closed door; the whole thing had been a mess from start to end. As he began to walk away he couldn't help but ask himself, what did he think was going to happen, they were no longer part of each life. There was Liv but there was nothing to talk about between them, and it felt all wrong.

 

Robert had always been willing to talk to him even in anger; this was completely blocking him out in a way Aaron had never experienced. Had it really gone that far, had he really pushed that hard, because there was no denying it was him who had forced Robert out of his life, but he never really honestly believed it would ever get to this.

 

 

 

The decision to end the relationship with Robert had not been an easy one, and once it was made the only way that Aaron could cope was to make a complete change to their relationship.

 

The problems that had separated them were not issues that Aaron had the tools to deal with at the time, but over time Aaron has gotten help. He feels better.

 

He feels much more equipped to deal with all his problems, it wasn't perfect, but more often than not it was a much better way of dealing with things. Counselling had given him ways of dealing with all those things that trigger him and even just a better state of mind.

 

Slowly, without realising it, he has worked himself back into a place where a relationship with Robert or anyone, but the reality is that the best person for him has always been Robert, could be possible. There is a startling reality in that what if that's not the case for Robert? What if Robert no longer wanted him, no longer loved him? What if Aaron had made the distance between them too vast for them to find each other again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say [hi @ttttjay](https://ttttjay.tumblr.com/)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, the kudos and the comments x
> 
> as always big thanks to [Zo'e](http://godamnarmsrace.tumblr.com/)

Liv walks up to the cafe where she is meeting Robert, this whole thing feels like a guilt trip. Aaron had stormed out after a conversation about how Robert was behaving strangely, and not half hour later there is a text message arranging lunch, yep definitely a guilt trip. She would’ve probably not even agreed to it apart from the fact that something is going on with both of them and she needs to get to the bottom of it, even if it is just to smack both their heads together. 

 

She walks in and finds Robert sitting, almost hiding in the corner.

 

"Hey," she says to drag his attention away from his phone as always.

 

"Hey," he says looking up, "What do you fancy?” he asks pointing at the counter, as he puts his phone away in his pocket.

 

 

Robert orders their food, and they sit for a few minutes in almost awkward silence before their order is brought over. Robert seems to have gathered himself enough and begins to talk.

 

"So, sorry I've not been able to see you much recently. I didn't mean to ignore you," Robert says with trying to make sure he's still in Liv's good books, after everything it took a long time for them to get to a place where they felt like family and security to one another.

 

“That’s alright; I know you get busy with everything that is going on," Liv replies as she takes a sip of her drink.

 

“It’s just Aaron seemed to give the impression that you were upset about it," Robert says finding himself questioning her easy attitude which appears not to fit the concern Aaron had for the situation.

 

"Aaron asked me about how you'd been, and I said that you had been not about recently. It wasn't a big deal, at least not to me," Liv said with a shrug, although she had been a little confused by the change in attitude from Robert, this was beginning to answer questions she had about what was going on.

 

For Robert, this is the most confused he has been in a while, maybe she is just covering her hurt, it would be a first, but you never know.

 

"Well, Aaron seemed to think it was an issue, so I'm sorry," he said trying to make sure that he is covering all his bases.

 

"It appeared to be more of an issue that you weren't talking to him if I'm honest, are you avoiding him?" Liv is looking for answers now.

 

“We don’t really talk," Robert replies avoiding the question.

 

"Well, he seemed to think that you were ignoring him," Liv said now knowing that something is going on.

 

“I’m just giving him his space.”

 

“Why would he want space if he is trying to talk to you?” It has been obvious to Liv the feelings they still have for each other, and so this doesn't really make sense.

 

Robert is feeling backed into a corner, he has avoided any conversation about Aaron, and this had been made easier by avoiding the man himself, and he realises it's also the reason he has been avoiding Liv. Although he just seems to have made things worse for himself, what else is new, he should expect it at this point.

 

"Well, like you said I've been busy," he lies again in the hope that Liv will let the conversation will drop.

 

“Do you not like him anymore?” Liv is wondering has she read things wrong.  There is a really worrying and small chance that things have really changed as much as Aaron seems to be worried they have.

 

“What?” Robert asks with a look of shock apparent in his voice and on his face.

 

"Well, he seemed to think that you were ignoring him and you've never done that before so…." Okay, so maybe that was a mistake, but still, there is something else going on.

 

"I was just giving him what he wanted, letting him get on with his life, and trying to get on with mine." This is getting really close to the truth, a little too close if Robert is honest.

 

"So, have you stopped liking him?" This is the only real conclusion that Liv can come to, but even if it’s not true maybe it will get a reaction out of Robert, give her something to work with.

 

"Don't say that," Robert finally snapped at a shocked looking Liv, "I'm sorry, but please stop saying that! Can we please not talk about this anymore?”

 

“Wow two apologies in one conversation, that's got to be some kind of record," she laughs trying to break the tension, earning a small smile from Robert. She gives him a small nod in agreement, and Robert seems to relax.

 

Robert hadn't meant to snap at her, but the whole thing was getting a little too raw, and the idea that he could have moved on from Aaron was almost more than he could take, but Liv appeared to have dropped the subject for now. Although this was Liv, so the idea that this was the last he was going to hear of it was laughable, for now, he could just try and spend time with her.

 

"So, are you getting ready for exams?" he asks deciding on a nice easy subject, something that avoids him talking about his own mess of a life. There is a pang of sadness that comes from listening to Liv talk realising once again the life he is missing out on, and how different things could have been.

 

 

After a couple of hours of talking, the conversation reaches a stalemate, and they decide to go their separate ways. As Robert watches Liv head back down the road towards The Mill, he gives himself one more moment of sadness before turning and walking away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say [hi @ttttjay](https://ttttjay.tumblr.com/)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [Zo'e](http://godamnarmsrace.tumblr.com/) x
> 
> and to the everyone else hope you enjoy x

Robert's life had become a place he was forced to occupy, apart from a few fleeting moments like seeing Liv; there wasn't much about his life that brought him real happiness. He knew what happiness, true happiness felt like and this wasn't even a very good imitation of that.

He lives with his sister, whom he loves dearly but this is not where he wants to be, and some days all it did was remind him of the fact he wasn't with Aaron.

This didn't even feel the same as when his marriage to Chrissie broke down, that felt like tripping over a stone compared to the rock wall that it felt like he had been slammed into and over. Time passing meant he had managed to live with the damage that he had caused, but he never seemed to heal fully.

 

He helps run Home James; it has become the primary focus of his life. It has been a distraction that has kept him from falling apart; it has meant that he can continue to keep moving and breathing and maybe one day he'll be able to build a new life for himself.

Robert also has the business that he invested in so long ago for reasons that he wasn't able to admit to himself at the time. It has never really been discussed but he is still a partner, and he still gets his share each month, it just silently appears in his bank account. He wonders if it's just a payment that leaves the account every month that has been forgotten about and would stop if someone were to notice, but the amount changes, so someone is still making sure he gets his share of the profits. Sometimes he wonders if he should give it up or sell it back, but that feels a little too much like taking off the ring that he still wears and although one day he will have to do both; he's not quite there yet.

This last element is something he would rather not think about, like at all. It has been nearly a year, and there is still so much disbelief at what has happened, how badly everything had collapsed on him. The problems that he and Aaron had certainly didn't start when he had messed up so badly, but they were certainly the catalyst for the situation that Robert now found himself in. Even then it was almost forgivable, he had almost gotten away with it, and then the goal posts were moved, and nothing could hold them together anymore. Maybe it wouldn't have anyway, but a false hope of a chance made it all so much worse in the end. Maybe it just caused everything to fall apart sooner, but did it even matter anymore; this is where he was now.

 

He could keep everyday life simple if he focused on the things he was good at, making money, developing and trying to expand the business. Giving his energy over to this meant that he didn't focus on the lack of reason for working so hard before life with Aaron gave work a purpose, he was building on the happiness that he had.

Nevermore an important moment than when Robert first realised that he had been working so hard to provide for his little family. He'd wanted to make sure that they were safe and looked after no matter what might happen in the future. He should have been looking more carefully inward instead of worrying about the outside world. Too late now.

 

Robert thought he was finally getting into a manageable routine, and even moving forward a little. He had realised that moving on from Aaron was possibly never going to come, but he knew life couldn't just come to a stop. So, he chose how he was going to succeed in making a life that didn't include Aaron. He made rules in an attempt at building control, and then he began the slow and steady move forward, one day at a time.

 

It was working fine until Aaron tried to make conversation with him. At first, it was something that he could just brush off, like the time in the pub there was no one else to talk to. But it continued to happen, and he found this had an unwanted side effect, hope. So, he had tried to avoid it, to crush that little seed of hope before it grows into a massively uncontrollable thing, thinking it wouldn't matter to Aaron seeing as they hadn't really been talking that much anyway.

Aaron showing up on his doorstep had been a surprise, although it made sense that it was about Liv, the only thing that really connected them anymore. Everything got stranger with Liv declaring that it had been Aaron who had brought the subject up. Now he didn't know what to think, did this change things, had the attempts at conversation been an indication of something that Robert didn't want to put any hopes on at all?

Was he strong enough to not want to find out, probably not, but he hasn't seen Aaron in a few days, and so there has had to be no need to decide it just yet.

So, Robert continued with his days in much the same way he had for the last few months. He got up, tried to eat the breakfast Vic insisted on making him, went to work, dealing with clients for the day, went home, made small talk with Vic; if she was home and went to bed, rinse, repeat.

He had almost forgotten about avoiding Aaron, ha that's a joke until he ran into him at the café when he was going for the coffee, pretty much the only thing he could stomach these days. There was a small coffee spill when he ran into Aaron as he was leaving.

"Sorry, are you ok?" Aaron said as he saw the small stain spreading on Robert's suit, "You want me to get you another one?"

Now at this point, Robert's brain cuts out and is of no use to him what so ever, that leaves only his heart going thump thump in his chest.

"Um," is the only thing he can get out.

Aaron takes over at this point.

 "Just give me a sec; I'll get you another one."

Robert is left standing in the middle of the shop trying to catch up with what's going on. His brain is finally of some use, and he decides to wait outside, fresh air and distance might help.

A few minutes later Aaron appears coffee in hand, passing it to him. Robert now expects for Aaron just to walk away, but he then begins to speak.

“So, where you off too?”

This is the point he has not been able to decide about yet, is he going to be able to talk to Aaron? Of course, with the man standing in front of him he wants to but…

"Just off to work," he hears coming out of his mouth almost without permission.

“How's that going?”

Jesus, is he actually doing this is he going to try and pull this off, no, he honestly doesn't know where this is going, but before he gets his hopes up, he needs to get out of here.

"Busy at the moment so I really should get going," He says and turns and starts to walk away, he can almost feel Aaron's eyes on his back as he does so he glances over his shoulder. As he does Aaron gives him a small smile which he can't help but return. Aaron may actually be more interested than he thought, but he needs to be really confident before he actually lets himself really feel... Anything really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say Hi [@ttttjay](https://ttttjay.tumblr.com/) x


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all those reading, here's the new chapter hope you enjoy.
> 
> Thanks to [Zo'e](http://godamnarmsrace.tumblr.com/) x

Watching as Robert walked away he couldn’t help but feel a little pleased, he may not have stuck around, but he didn't run away as quickly as he had every other time Aaron had tried to talk to him. Having thought about it Aaron had concluded that maybe he and Robert weren’t on the same page anymore, the indication was that the feelings were there, why else would Robert still be wearing his wedding ring? But where Aaron had been moving towards him, Robert had been pulling away, and that was something that Aaron was going to have to fix. 

So, baby steps; lots of conversations like this one, which hopefully Robert would stop running from, and then try and build from there. It was going to be a long road if their recent conversation was any indication but Aaron has no doubt it would be worth it.

He is so deep in thought he didn’t realise that he was watching Robert so intently but then Robert looked around and all Aaron could do was smile, which Robert returned, giving Aaron the most positive reaction he had seen out of Robert in a very long time.

 

So, that's what he does every time he sees Robert, there are words exchanged, and sometimes it's just a ‘hi' other times there is a ‘how's it going?' It's all from Aaron, Robert; he realises that Robert never talks to him first and even a few times has seemed surprised that Aaron has tried to talk to him. But Robert is looking less and less like a startled rabbit every time it happens, although most interactions do end with him bolting, just when Aaron thinks he is getting somewhere. Aaron just lets him go every time because there is clearly a struggle going on inside Robert and he doesn't want to push too hard.

Although, Aaron is also starting to realise that he may just have to take the leap. If he wants to develop their relationship into something more, something better, he is going to have to be as clear about that as he was in telling him they were over. Hopefully, Robert wasn't as far away as it sometimes felt.

 

Then there is a repeat of the coffee incident, which is not hard to believe as Aaron has worked out that Robert has a routine that means he is either at Vic’s, the coffee shop, work, or very occasionally in the pub.

Although this time Robert, was sitting at one of the tables so there was no accident but Aaron thought he would take the opportunity given. Getting his coffee and then sitting down opposite to Robert, who looked surprised at the choice Aaron had made.

“Hey,” Aaron said as he knew he would have to start, Robert had never spoken first, but he was getting less skittish.

“Hey,” Robert had the smallest smile as he replied.

Aaron was getting very used to only having half a conversation so he was not too sure what to say that wouldn't scare Robert away. So, he just sat drinking his coffee trying to make this as un-awkward as possible, which these days when talking to Robert was always laced with some awkwardness. But there had to be a way of getting to the point.

Okay, deep breath.

“So, what are you doing later?” It was probably too much, but Aaron had also run out of ways of skirting around the question, and he had concluded that there was no way Robert was going to ask.

“Not much, working then evening in,” Robert says with a frown and confused response.

“Would you like to do something?” Aaron had to do this now, while Robert appeared to be happy to stick around, and it's almost the longest he has managed to talk to him.

There was a stutter in Robert's response like he had tripped over his tongue then a quiet, unsure "Why?" 

"Why cos you know," so not as obvious as he thought, Aaron is now wondering if has made a mistake, maybe Robert wasn’t interested.

“Are you talking about like um …?” Robert stutters in response, apparently confused and unsure whether to say the next word that came to mind.

“A date, yeah,” Aaron helpfully responses with a small nod. He takes a minute to look at Robert, he has done this a few times, but this is the longest they have talked. Aaron looks his fill of the man sitting in front of him. Robert has lost weight not that there was a lot to lose, which probably makes it more visible. There is tiredness too, which Aaron hadn't noticed much before but was obviously something Robert was used to. 

Robert had also never looked so many different things at once; the emotions on his face didn't seem to be able to keep up with whatever was going on in head. Aaron was now trying to work out if Robert was going to bolt although he also seems firmly rooted to the spot. Aaron thinks he has read it wrong, maybe Robert has moved on, now he feels the need to bolt himself, or at least give Robert some space. 

“I'll tell you what, if you want to let me know,” Aaron took the last sip of his drink and got up to walk away, a bit disappointed but that's the chance he had made.

He makes his way to the door and is about to leave when Robert pipes up.

"Aaron, okay…, yeah,” he stutters in a nervous tone.

Aaron looks back, wondering what question he is answering; Robert must see the issue on his face because, with a deep breath, he continues.

“We can do something, but would tomorrow be okay?" There is still nervousness but also hopefulness in his voice.

“Yeah, that's fine, um, I'll text you, alright?" At this point, Aaron is stunned to have gotten an answer. Even then he has a feeling this is going to be very slow moving, but it's a step in the right direction hopefully.

Robert just nods, with a small smile.

Aaron returns the gesture before he turns and leaves, only once he's outside taking a deep breath, and he's hoping this is the right thing to do, not realising Robert is inside thinking the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is [me @ttttjay](https://ttttjay.tumblr.com/) would love you come say hi


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to warn you this chapter has the briefest mention of Rebecca and the baby
> 
>  
> 
> All the love for [Zo'e](http://archiveofourown.org/users/godamnarmsrace) x

There was a white noise occurring in Robert's ears as he tried to catch up with what just happened, not only had Aaron asked him on a date, but he had agreed to it, even as every part of him was shouting that it was a bad idea. He was going to let Aaron walk away when he heard the automatic response come out of his mouth and now he was; regret is not the right word but having second thoughts.

"No talking to Aaron," he reminded himself. "And if you do, nothing personal." Oh, it was a brilliant plan, in theory, but somehow over the past few weeks, he had found himself letting down his guard more and more because no matter what, it seemed to be his automatic response to Aaron right from the very beginning. Robert had managed to maintain the second part of his mantra, but slowly, very slowly it was being chipped away at too, and now he had agreed to go on a date.

Well, his plans did always go so perfectly.

So, now he had to get through the rest of the day, trying to ignore the wait for a message. At the same time thinking, and maybe even hoping, that Aaron would change his mind and realise that he had made a mistake. That asking Robert out had been a moment of madness. Robert was waiting for a message that said "Sorry, I made a mistake," but did he want that?

 

Then a message came through just before he was about to go home for the day; it wasn't the first or last message he had gotten during the day, so he blindly opened it before realising who had sent it. It merely said "6.30pm, I'll pick you up," it made Robert pause, and take a deep breath that he slowly let out, he was pleased it was the end of the day as he would be no use to anyone now.

 

It had still felt rushed to him, and he needed a bit more time to get his head around the idea. Robert was now headed home still confused about whether or not he had made the right decision in agreeing to the date. Sure, the last few weeks it seemed like Aaron was trying to build up some relationship, but honestly, he had thought it was for mostly for Liv's benefit. After the concern, Aaron had shown about Robert having less contact with Liv, even though she had said it wasn’t something that had bothered her, and it was Aaron who had brought it up, that just didn’t seem right. Even when he came and talked to Robert about the lack of contact is was entirely about Liv.

Sitting in the coffee shop trying to gather himself to start the day, it had been both the blessing and a curse that it always was seeing Aaron walk in. Robert had thought that maybe he could quietly watch Aaron as he came in and got his coffee and left again. Robert's mind raced trying to put together a reaction to a new attempt at Aaron making conversation, up to now none had ‘cornered' him in this way. There was the option to leave, but now Aaron was talking to him and just to allow himself these few minutes was stupid, but it had become a small thing that made him feel that rare happiness over the last few weeks, he tried not to think about how it made him feel afterwards. So, to have him come over to where Robert was sitting and ask him out on a date, Aaron had apparently been working up to it, but it had felt very sudden to Robert.

He went to bed that night with his thoughts trying to settle on the matter, hoping that getting some sleep would give him a better idea what to do by morning.

 

When morning rolled around, Robert had barely slept and still was no clearer on what to do. It wasn’t so much the date that gave Robert second thoughts; it was what lied beyond it, the implication of a possible relationship. For the longest time, Robert would have given everything he had for this chance, but that hope was lost by more rejections and mistakes than he could really take. Aaron had been so confident that nothing between them would ever happen again that Robert had begun to convince himself that would be the case. That even though it killed him to admit it, Aaron was and is now better off without Robert in his life. 

This made the whole situation even more confusing if Aaron had been so sure of his choice to end the relationship, what was so different now? Robert still made the same mistakes and was always in very much the same mess that he had been then. It may not look that way, but even with Rebecca and the baby out of the village it is still a pressure that reminds him of some of his worst mistakes.

Robert is just barely himself holding together as it is, he has almost left the village a few times because he can’t face the complete mess he’s made of the perfectly good chance at happiness he had.

Could this be another chance at that happiness? All those months of trying to get Aaron to change his mind and it comes about when he has pretty much given up and decided buried the whole idea. Well, Aaron appears to have changed his mind, it is just one date, after all, there is no promise of anything more. Robert could send a message and cancel, but the idea of another chance that he had buried and the hope that went with it is was starting to rear its head.

Robert now has two trains of thought; that he would love, with all his heart, to have Aaron back in his life. Leading to the second idea; that he would then manage to screw it up again, and then he would be back to square one, and he is not sure he could climb out of that hole again.

Robert decides to go and prove to himself and Aaron that it's a never going to work really and then they can go back to their lives, at least then he might be able to move on properly, give himself a chance at happiness; of some sort.

So, he gets ready, picks out an outfit that that is not anything Aaron has seen before so has no real memories attached to it and tries to make it look like he hasn't made an effort. It takes him two hours to get ready.

He doesn’t even know what Aaron has planned. Robert begins to wonder how seriously Aaron took planning this date; it had taken a few hours to let him know a time, so there had to be some planning involved.

It's 15 minutes before Aaron should be arriving and Robert is still sure texting and cancelling would probably be the best idea, but for his own sanity he needs to see what happens otherwise, there will always be that question.

Then there's a knock at the door.

Robert takes a deep breath, mutters some reassurances to himself and makes his way to the door to open it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope that wasn't too bad x
> 
> I am on Tumblr come say [Hi @ttttjay](https://ttttjay.tumblr.com)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all those that have read, given kudos, or have sent me one of the amazing comments I have received, they are such a source of encouragement.
> 
> [Zo'e continues to be amazing with her help](http://godamnarmsrace.tumblr.com/)

There is hesitation before Robert moves towards the door, putting on an attempt at what he hopes is a smile. Swinging the door open he finds Aaron standing on the other side who has put an effort in, there is a breath-stopping moment where everything that has happened is gone, and he just has Aaron standing in front of him again like old times.

"Hey, you ready?" Aaron asks, causing the reality to hit Robert and he has to gather himself back into the moment.

“Yeah, lead the way,” he realises that he has no idea what Aaron’s plan is for the evening is, but his plan is just really trying to hang on to his sanity, and maybe some of his dignity, for a few hours.

Robert follows silently to the cab that is parked outside and follows Aaron into it, once they are both in the driver begins to move, apparently having already been given the address. Robert spends the entire journey both trying not to speak and trying to work out what conversation they could be having. It serves as a distraction until the car comes to a stop, although that doesn’t make the silence any less deafening.

“We’re here,” Aaron says as he pays and gets out; Robert takes it as his cue to follow. He stands on the pavement in front of a restaurant that is way out of Aaron's comfort zone and is clearly a choice that has been made with Robert in mind.

He follows Aaron into the restaurant, hears him speak to the person waiting at the front and follows them to the table and takes a seat. Robert quite literally doesn’t know what to do now; he is sat with a menu which is giving him something to do that doesn’t involve trying to make conversation with the person across the table. The tension is so thick he is surprised the rest of the customers are not choking on it.

Aaron sits there hoping that he can get some sort of read on Robert, maybe he could if he dropped his menu for two seconds so that Aaron could see him. He had hoped that he had picked something that Robert would like and maybe get a reaction, after all, he had agreed to the date.

"What do you fancy?" Aaron tried, thinking that if he tried to keep things light and comfortable, it might go more smoothly.

“Not sure,” Robert replied quietly with a shrug of his shoulders, not even looking at Aaron as he said it.

“Not even sure I have tried half this food before, any suggestions?”

Robert took a deep breath, he could see instantly what Aaron would like and pointing it out should be so easy, but…he can't bring himself to, and he continues to look at his menu. He can feel Aaron looking at him over the top of his menu, apparently hoping for a response. When he doesn't get one, there is a light sigh, and he returns to looking at his menu, Aaron knows what he wants he was just hoping the small talk would get him somewhere with Robert.

After several minutes of silence, the waitress comes over, and they both place their orders, with that part of the evening out of the way they are now left to wait for their food and Robert realises that actually conversation will have to take place. Although in theory he knew this, he is now at a loss for how to handle the situation, so he sits in silence waiting for everything to implode as it always seems to when he and Aaron are together.

Aaron is looking at him as if trying to work out what is supposed to happen next and how to make it happen. Robert feels very exposed with the way Aaron is looking at him, but he sits and tries not to squirm in his seat.

“Be right back,” he says as he makes a beeline for the bathroom hoping to find a moment to himself. He finds himself in front of a sink taking a couple of deep breaths trying to remember why he is doing this in the first place. Maybe it is proving the point of what a bad idea this whole situation is, but did he really want that to be the case and would that really be why Aaron was here too?

 

Aaron is starting to wonder why Robert said yes to this date; did he not know that’s what it was, had Aaron been that vague? No, he was confident that Robert knew what he agreed to but then why did he look like this was the last place in the world he wanted to be? 

Aaron was trying to decide what was going on when he saw Robert making his way back to the table, and for the first time in a long time, Aaron properly took the man in. He could see the persona of Robert walking back through the restaurant, a man who had a mask on to suit his environment, but then Aaron was struggling to see the man underneath, that he'd always been able to in the past.

 

The date continued in the same awkward fashion, the conversation didn't really flow, the silences were uncomfortable, and in the end, it was two people having a meal at the same table. Aaron had thought that if he could only get Robert to spend some time with him, he would rekindle some of the relationship that had gone missing between them. It just seemed to show how far apart they had gotten, and that they may have a more significant gap to cross then he had first thought if they were to try and build something.

Robert on the other side of the table was also seeing the space between them, the loss he felt was huge this just showed him how much Aaron had wanted him out of his life and it felt like an impossible space to even think about crossing, although he was confused in that Aaron seemed to be trying.

This space was causing Robert to hold back, Aaron had always been someone Robert could talk to but having spent so long apart Robert felt like he had forgotten how. So, they both sat there looking at each other across the table, food came, and empty plates were removed, Aaron asks for the bill, and they make their way back to the village. Aaron had thought they might do something afterwards, but now that didn’t feel like such a good idea.

Sitting in the back of the taxi home was more awkward than the entire evening as they both tried to work out how to finish the night. The driver pulled the car to a stop and Aaron paid. Robert realised that he would have to walk back past Aaron to get to the house. Taking a deep breath, he goes to step around the car as it pulls away, Aaron is there standing with his hands in his pockets unsure what to do next. He thought that by the end of the night they would be much closer when in fact they just seemed further away.

Robert could only look at Aaron really try to take him in as he built up the courage to walk past him, seemingly having gotten his answers about how badly things would go.

“Thanks for dinner," Robert said as he walked past, pulling his keys out and heading for the front door, as he put the key in the lock and went to open the door he heard a voice from behind him.

“Robert, can we talk?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [I'm on Tumblr, come say Hi x](https://ttttjay.tumblr.com/)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for reading, giving kudos and commenting
> 
> Thanks to Zo'e for all her help

Aaron could see the whole situation slipping through his fingers, the date had seemed like the best way to try and rebuilt something with Robert, but everything was so much more damaged than he'd first thought. The time together at the restaurant had introduced Aaron to a different Robert, one that was now hiding behind a mask that Aaron couldn't see past. All of it was Aaron's own making, and he didn't know what was fixable and what was not but if he really wanted to try now seemed to be the time.

“Robert, can we talk?”

Robert stood perfectly still with his hand on the key that he was about to turn in the door, gave the smallest movement to his hand causing the door to open and let go of the key.

“I don’t know what there is to say,” Robert turns and looks at Aaron.

Aaron for the first time in a long time can see the emotion on Robert’s face; he had been doing so well to hide it up until now catching Aaron by surprise. There were sadness and loss in his expression that made Aaron want to reach out to him, but it didn’t seem like the right thing to do at that moment.

“Why did you agree to come out with me tonight?” Aaron finds the only question that makes sense at that moment.

"I don't know," Robert says with a slight shrug of the shoulders and finding that he can only answer that question honestly. He had almost cancelled, there was a range of reasons why he hadn't, but he is reasonably sure now that it was just to get possibly one last chance to sit across from Aaron for an evening.

“Cause it felt like you didn’t want to be there, so I don’t understand why you said yes. Did you change your mind, cos if that’s the case you could have left or cancelled? If you want nothing to do with me, then tell me, and I will leave you alone.” Aaron is now just so confused and unsure about everything that he was preparing himself for complete rejection.

“No,” Robert gets out, “that’s not it.”

“So, what is it?”

“I didn’t think it would be that hard,” Robert starts to think that honesty might be the best policy right now; it always had been with Aaron.

“To what, go to dinner?” Aaron is very confused by where this conversation is going.

“To sit across the table from you and try to be on a date. Everything that happened tonight seemed to show that we no longer have anything between us, so I thought it best just to get through the evening, just enjoy spending one more evening with you," mumbling the last part, not sure if he wanted Aaron to hear. There, he said everything; his view on the situation, Aaron could now walk away and get on with this life like he wanted.

Robert seemed in such a rush to get that out that Aaron had to take a moment to process it and realise what had been said. When he caught up the whole thing just smacked him clean in the face, Robert had truly not realised what Aaron had been trying to do. Aaron had spent so long pushing him away, that now Robert couldn't even bring himself to imagine that Aaron might still be interested.

“So you don’t want to get back together?” Aaron had to make sure that this is what they both wanted.

"I didn't say that," Robert says quietly.

Aaron wraps his arms around himself realising that they are still outside with the front door cracked open, it was late, and it had been a hard, stressful night for both of them he realised.

“I am going to make this so easy for you, this is me trying to get back together, and I still would like that, but I think that you need to work out what you want.”

He takes a step forward, so he is standing close enough that he reaches out and grabs Robert's hand, as he does he can feel the warm metal on Robert's finger.

“After everything why do you still wear that?” Aaron almost wanted to look at the band of metal.

"Cos, I can't take it off," Aaron can see the honesty, and it leads to the next question.

“Do you still have mine?” Robert just gives him a look of what do you think, Aaron nods almost to himself. “So, I haven't lost you completely," Aaron says with hope, and Robert stays silent at a loss of what to say.

“I would like to talk properly, but I think you need some time. I'm glad you came this evening, and I would love to do it again, maybe a little more successful the next time,” he says with a chuckle which causes a slight smile from Robert, “but only if it’s what you want. Take some time to think about it and let me know. I won’t bother you in the meantime or ever again if that's what you decide you want, but I’m saying to you very clearly now, I am interested.”

Aaron gave a small smile, let go of Robert's hand and turned to walk away hoping that would not be the end of it but not seeing what else he could do. The ugly truth of what had happened to their relationship was now glaringly obvious, and Robert's belief that he would never get another chance had been causing some of the problems for Aaron trying to get him back. 

Now Aaron has improved his communication skills, and although he wasn't great at it, this had seemed like the moment to use every skill he had been taught. He could only hope it would be enough and that Robert still wearing that ring was meant as much as he thought it did.

 

Robert's head is left spinning; he's reasonably sure he would chase after Aaron if he could focus on where he had gone. He had been offered a chance at everything he has ever wanted, everything he thought he'd lost, Aaron seemed to think this requires some sort of consideration but it appeared to be a straightforward choice. That being said he did need some time to take in this information and from the way, Aaron was talking Robert didn't have much choice, it had been a long evening and getting into bed and trying to get some sleep seemed like the best idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it, please let me know
> 
> [Come say Hi on Tumblr @ttttjay x](https://ttttjay.tumblr.com/)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those of you leaving comments please know even if I am not responding I am reading and so grateful for them, and thanks to everyone who is giving this a chance
> 
> as all ways thanks to [Zo'e](http://godamnarmsrace.tumblr.com/) for your help x

Aaron walked back home, leaning against the front door as he closed it behind him.

"How'd it go?" Aaron jumps at Liv's voice; he finds he sitting at the top of the stairs, waiting for him to come home. His own personal cheerleader in trying to rekindle the relationship with Robert, it was partly her confidence that helped him keep going, by himself, he may have given up.

"Awful…well not great," the look on Liv's face made him talk faster "The date, the date was a bit of a mess, but when we got back we managed to talk, well I talked, and Robert stood there looking at me."

"You talked, and Robert didn’t?” Liv gave him a questioning look.

"I didn't really give him a chance, but he didn't seem to realise that I was trying to get back together, so I sort of had to spell it out for him," Aaron said with a shrug.

“How could he not know?” Liv was more confused; she knew how interested Robert was, even if he never wanted to talk about it.

"Well, I told him that I did, and was really honest about what I wanted and told him to think about it and let me know," Aaron sighs trying not to be too disappointed at how the evening had gone.

“That doesn’t sound right; I thought he would jump at that chance,” Liv says trying to be comforting, but also realising there may be more to this then Aaron is letting on.

"Well, I have told him to take his time and let me know, and I promised to leave him alone until then. Look it's been a really long night, so I am going to get some sleep.” Aaron gets up to head to his room, the room that he should be sharing with Robert when Liv stands up and throws her arms around him.

“Night Aaron,” she mumbles into his chest, with a small smile he hugs her back before letting go.

"Night," he says with a small, sad smile before heading to his room leaving Liv trying desperately not to interfere.

 

It’s been two long days and Aaron is becoming unbearable, mainly from his lack of doing anything, so, that was it, Liv was done playing nice. She was going to have to smack their heads together since the ‘date’ Aaron was so quiet that it was starting to drive her nuts. Liv arranged to meet Robert determined to work this out once and for all. She was surprised that he hadn’t tried to avoid her but as she walked into the café, Robert was just sitting there not paying attention, he didn’t even have his phone out which was not something Liv was used to seeing. 

"Hey," she said to catch his attention as she sat down.

"Hey," he gave a small smile back before he got up and placed their usual orders.

"So how are you?" she said as Robert sat down again. He sighed with a slight eye roll; he knew this was coming.

“I’m fine, but that’s not really what you wanted to talk about is it?" He decides that he might as well get it over.

“I am actually surprised you came,” she admits giving him the once over.

“Well, why wouldn't I?" Robert knows why she would think that, but since being caught out for not seeing her, he has tried not to let it happen again.

“Cos aren’t you avoiding Aaron? I know about the other night." It surprises Robert that Aaron would be so open about it, but then again, this is Liv, and it is tough to keep things from her, and they are very close.

“I just needed some time,” Robert says with a sigh, "I was just trying to get my head around stuff." Deciding that if Aaron could tell her, then she deserved to hear it from him as well.

“But I thought it was what you wanted? To get back together with Aaron.” Liv asks not really understanding the problem.

“That doesn’t mean anything; I didn't think it would ever happen.” Robert is now getting fidgety, saying things that have been going around in his head for the past couple of days.

“But if that’s the case, why are you not over there taking the chance?”

Robert runs his hand through his hair and looks at Liv deciding that with all the best intentions in the world, this is not a conversation he should be having with her.

"I think that is between Aaron and me, to be honest,” he tries hoping that will bring an end to it.

Liv considered arguing but in the end decided against it. She could tell Robert was already having a hard time with this, and he was right it was a conversation he needed to have with Aaron.

“Ok, but you will talk to him,” she decided to say. Robert nodded, and another temporary treaty appeared to be once again settled. He softly smiles as she moves onto new subjects that take Robert’s mind off his current dilemma.

 

Aaron had underestimated how hard it would be to make sure he avoided Robert; he had made it such a part of his daily life to bump into him that now he was having trouble not. It had caused him to go out less and not only that he was losing confidence in the fact that Robert had been interested in what he had offered.

Then he tried to remind himself that it had only been a few days and he had told Robert to take his time, but wow, Aaron hadn't thought it through.  Liv was out, and so he just sat home watching telly trying not to stress too much when there was a knock at the door. Getting up to answer the door he could see a shape through the glass that makes him move a little quicker. He opened the door to reveal a nervous looking Robert standing on the other side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think x
> 
> [Come say Hi](https://ttttjay.tumblr.com/)


	11. Chapter 11

There is a brief moment of silence, Aaron from shock, Robert from not being sure what to say.

"Hey," Aaron goes with "You want to come in?"

After a pained moment, Robert replied "Yeah, thanks," as he hesitantly steps over the threshold. He tries not to look around too much, he doesn't want to see all the changes that have been made in his absence, but at the same time takes in as much as he can. He turns to face Aaron, Robert watches as Aaron's hands make their way into his jumper sleeves trying not to fidget too much.

“Do you want a tea or anything?” Aaron asks as he moves for the kitchen and filling the kettle as an automatic instinct.

“Yeah, sure,” Robert replies more as something to do and say then actually wanting anything, allowing the moments to pass, buying him time until he has to start to try and form actual sentences. Aaron moves around the kitchen making the tea before turning with two mugs in hand.

“Where do you want to sit?” Aaron asks handing him a mug, which Robert takes and immediately places on the kitchen table next to him, but doesn’t sit, but takes a deep breath.

“Did you mean it?” Robert finally settles on being the words he can get out, he looks up at Aaron in the silence and takes in the slightly confused expression on Aaron's face, "About wanting to try again?" He decides to clarify seeing what he thinks is a hopeful look on Aaron’s face.

“Yes,” Aaron decided on nice clear answers as Robert seemed to have had a hard time taking everything in when they have talked before.

"Because I can't understand why, I have been trying to wrap my head around it, and it just doesn't make sense,” because as much as Robert has wanted this, he also doesn't want the same result, he doesn't think he could survive Aaron making him leave again.

“Why doesn’t it?” Aaron doesn’t seem to realise what a big deal this is to Robert, how much Robert had genuinely given up on Aaron ever being anything other than the one he couldn’t hold onto.

“You told me we were over, that it was never going to happen again, you didn’t even want to be around me?” Robert is trying to hold it together now to get through this conversation as best he can. Also realising why, he had been trying to keep away from Aaron, cos even just being around him trying to have this conversation is starting to confuse him, knocking down walls that had been so carefully constructed, making everything now feel like a cardboard fort.

“That was because of me, of where I was, what I needed to do for me,” Aaron started to explain before Robert then interrupted in his need for answers.

“And that involved not being with me and staying away, I can understand that but if that’s what was best for you why are you now trying to be around me?”

Aaron let out a deep breath now and took a seat at the table and Robert followed sitting opposite as he watches Aaron work out what to say.

"I don't know if this will make sense, but everything had just gotten so overwhelming that at the time it felt like the only thing I could do. The days and weeks leading up to that day I couldn't hold anything together, and it seemed that the best thing to do was to go our separate ways.”

“And so what’s changed?” Robert asks trying to make sure he understands; this feels like the possibility of a moment that could lead in a way he almost dares not hope.

“I have, you have, even though you may not know it,” Aaron has the most casual tone showing he has thought about this.

“How can you tell?” Robert can’t help but ask; even as the hope rises from that little place where you keep all those dreams you don't dare to believe will ever come true.

“It’s a small village; it’s not a hard thing to notice,” with every question and answer he is wondering where the catch is going to be and every time Aaron surprises him.

"But is it enough for you to want to try again?” There is a stammer as he asks, this is possibly the most crucial question, the question he came over to ask.

"Well, that's up to you.”

And there it was, what Robert wanted, being offered as simple as that. Why was he not jumping for joy at this second chance? It was too much, too overwhelming and quite possibly too much of a risk. He's a business man he knows a risk when he sees one, and this has the potential to do a lot of damage that he might not be able to save himself from the second time.

"But if you don't want to like I said I would leave you alone, all you have to do is say.” Aaron has heard something in the silence that Robert has apparently let go on for too long.

“No, no, I don’t want you to stay away,” he is still processing everything, but he is almost sure he doesn't want that.

“But you don’t want to try again?” The question causes Robert to stall for just a second because of course, he does but…

"I am just having a hard time understanding how this is going to work and honestly why you would even want it to."

“Is that really what you think? That I couldn’t possibly be interested? I meant what I said, that I would always love you and that hasn’t changed, but I have.”

“And you say I have too, but I don’t see it or where this will get us really.”

“Could we not build something that is stronger and healthier than before, I mean we could take it slow, which I know is a joke with our history but isn’t it worth a try?"

Robert was shocked at how much it appeared Aaron had thought about this and was quite serious.

“Taking it slow sounds good, we can make a fresh start, or at the very least pretend that date from the other day didn’t happen” they both chuckle defusing the tension a little.

"So, we arrange another date and take it from there and just see what happens?” Aaron asks, for the first time Robert can hear the nervousness in Aaron’s tone and realises that it had been there all along, he had just been too overwhelmed to notice.

“Yeah, but can I make a request? Can I plan it this time?” Robert wants to do this, give himself a bit of control over the situation, try and make it more believable to him.

“Are you sure?” Aaron asks a little confused.

“Yeah, this is something I need to do.”

"Okay, I have no problem with that," Aaron smiles.

“Thanks, I need to make a move,” Robert both wants to stay and get out of there all at the same time; he decides that leaving is best. As he makes his way to the door Aaron following behind, Robert opens the door, giving Aaron a small smile and makes his way into the hallway before hearing Aaron’s voice behind him causing him to look back.

“Text me a let me know…about the date I mean,” Aaron gives him the same small smile that almost brings tears to Robert’s eyes as he feels like he has just reclaimed a tiny part of his past.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this didn't disappoint x
> 
> [Come say Hi x](https://ttttjay.tumblr.com/)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this, please let me know what you think (I maybe a little more nervous then usual about this one) x
> 
> Thanks to Zo'e for being a star

**Received 20:10:**

**Robert:** Can we keep this between ourselves for now, please?

**Sent 20:12:**

Sure. As I said, we can take it slow

**Received 21:01:**

**Robert:** Do you really think that we can make this work?

**Sent 21:06:**

I don't know, but I am willing to try.

 

Aaron got no response; he had realised how nervous Robert was about trying again although it was possibly more about it not working out.

 

The next morning Aaron felt like he got his answer.

**Received 08:23:**

**Robert:** Friday 7pm.

 

That gave them both a couple of days, Robert to plan something and Aaron to try and calm the nerves that had increased after he and Robert had talked.

**Sent 08:30**

What’s the plan?

**Received 08:45:**

**Robert:** I’ll pick you up.

**Sent: 08:51**

And then…?

**Received 09:39**

**Robert:** Wait and see!

**Sent 09:53**

Well it can’t go any worse than the last one!

 

When Friday rolled around Aaron got ready, nerves somewhat calmed by the casual texting he and Robert had been doing over the last few days; both avoiding subjects that would need to be addressed but they weren’t quite there yet.

The bell rang, and he could see Robert waiting through the door, opening it reveals two very nervous men to each other.

"You ready?" Robert asked, having taken a moment to appreciate the vision of Aaron in a suit.

"Yeah, just let me grab my keys," Aaron shook himself out of the daze he had found himself in and grabbed his keys.

They both headed out to the cab that was waiting, they sat in silence, but there were glances, nervous glances, both trying to start things off on the right foot.

In the end, Aaron can't help but laugh, Robert gets a small grin across his face seeing Aaron laugh is a good sight.

"This is only going to work if we can talk to each other," Aaron laughs "So, simple question where are we going?"

Robert clears his throat knowing Aaron was right but as soon as he opens his mouth he begins the attempt to talk, by admitting that he has hope, but that he is so afraid of the smallest chance that everything could go oh so wrong.

Well here goes.

"We're going to the same place we went to before."

"Really? Why?" Aaron can't help but ask because it seemed like an odd choice, but Robert must have made it for a reason.

"Because it was a nice restaurant and I... I mean we didn't really get a chance to enjoy it last time," Robert reasoned, having given it some thought.

The car stops in front of the restaurant after they both get out Aaron looks at Robert.

 "So, we try again?" Aaron could see the logic, sort of, it was worth a try, and he was willing to try anything that might help Robert feel more comfortable. 

"So, we try again," Robert agreed as he grabbed the door and held it open for Aaron to step through.

 

They weren't at the same table, Robert was pleased he wasn't sure he could handle that, but he had the same company, and he was trying not to let his nerves get the best of him. This included addressing something that happened on their previous date, so Robert wasted no time in leaning over his menu.

“This” he points.

“What?” Aaron looks at him a little puzzled.

“Last time you asked what I thought you would like, this, this is what I should have pointed out to you.”

"Oh, okay," Aaron said giving Robert a smile, with each thing that happened Aaron was starting to see Robert again and realising just how awful this whole thing had been for Robert. Robert smiled back at him clearly pleased with being able to speak up this time and turned to look at his own menu, choosing something different to last time.

Their orders were placed, and Aaron suddenly had flashes of memories of a disappearing Robert.

“You okay?” He asked hoping to prevent the same thing happening a second time.

"Yeah," Robert said with a small smile, he continued to try and relax.

From there they fell into simple conversation nothing too intense just something to build back the connection, work, Vic, Liv, then the food came, and it gave them a new thing to talk about. Aaron enjoying the choice Robert had suggested for him, and Robert was sharing the meal he had decided on. He was talking about elements that Aaron didn't really understand, but he enjoyed watching Robert's enthusiasm. Aaron repeating some stories of living in France, Robert doing the same about his life outside of Emmerdale, both stories they had told before but in the circumstances repeating them helped keep the conversation going. This time they stayed for dessert ordering two separate ones, so they could share and try each other’s, which almost turned into a food fight before they remembered where they were and just couldn’t help but laugh.

By the time they had gotten the bill and paid, it was much later than either of them had thought. They climbed into the cab waiting outside, sat in silence once again, but it was much more comfortable than before. They couldn't help but anticipate the date ending.

The cab stopped, and they both got out. They watched it pull away, there was a moment of silence, and they were both trying to work out the best next step. They moved closer together, so they were able to talk, close enough to touch, but neither took that last step.

"So, that went better than last time," Aaron joked trying to get them both to relax.

"Yeah, I had an enjoyable time," Robert smiled, it had been a great evening, and it did make him feel more hopeful than last time, but he was still very nervous.

"Well, I should be heading home before Liv sends out a search party," Aaron jokes "But we really have to do it again soon," he continued trying to remember that they are taking things slow. Robert had been really unsure about everything, so Aaron doesn't want to push too hard, he reached out and grabbed Robert's hand giving it a brief squeeze.

"I'll see you soon," he said before turning to walk away.

Robert kept hold of his hand, causing Aaron to stop. He looked back at Robert "Do you want to meet for breakfast?" Robert asked with a hopeful look as he let go of Aaron's hand.

"Of course, come to mine at 8, I'll drive us somewhere?" Aaron suggested.

"Yeah, I'll be there," Robert agreed with a smile, as they both turned and walked home, both more hopeful for the future however unsure it might be.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading x 
> 
> [Come say Hi](https://ttttjay.tumblr.com/)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am continuously thankful for everyone who decided to give this story a go, I hope you are still enjoying it. 
> 
> Love and thanks to Zo'e for checking it through x

The next morning Robert makes his way over to The Mill, for breakfast, with Aaron. That's a sentence that he has had to say to himself a few times to make himself believe it. Knocking on the door, he waited for Aaron to answer it. All sorts of emotions were running through him; this was starting to get very real and at this point was pinching himself.

Aaron opened the door with a smile that Robert hadn’t seen in a while and he couldn’t help but return as he stepped through the door.

“So you want to come in?” Aaron asked as he shut the door, "Liv's headed off early so I thought we could stay here unless you want to go somewhere?"

That stopped Robert in his tracks for a second trying to get a read on Aaron; the safe option would be to go out but have breakfast with Aaron at The Mill seemed too good a chance to miss.

“Um… no here's fine, as long as you’re sure?” He decides, but he hesitates, hoping it's the right thing to do. It doesn’t look like Aaron minds; he supposes he wouldn't have offered if he did but Robert's still a little unsure about the strange turn of events.

Aaron just nods and walks into the kitchen, flicks the kettle on and starts to pull things out of cupboards. Robert decides to just take a seat at the table and watch if nothing else to be on standby to save the kitchen before it catches alight. The thought made him smile; he wondered if he was still right.

Aaron manages to make breakfast with the house and kitchen still standing, much to Robert's surprise; a lot has changed. They sit and eat; Robert feels a little out of his depth with it all, that Aaron is okay with him sitting in The Mill eating a breakfast he just made for them both. If Robert thought the whole date thing was a shock, nothing could have prepared him for this.

Aaron could tell that Robert was nervous, but he figured this was the best way and place to have this conversation; he made small talk with Robert while they ate and waited until they were both finished eating. Aaron clears the plates and puts them in the sink along with the rest of the washing up that has been created.

“Did you want a hand with that?” Robert asks looking over at the pile of dishes that had now been generated.

"No, its fine, I actually thought it would be a good idea to talk." Aaron says sitting back down at the table taking Robert's hand in his, as a frown comes across Robert's face, "Nothing bad, I promise."

Robert felt like a bit of an idiot having to keep being reassured, but he couldn’t help but need it.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" Robert tries not to sound too nervous.

“This," Aaron gestures between himself and Robert, "What can I do to help this?"

“What?” Robert questions, wondering what he'd missed.

"I can tell that everything is freaking you out like right now, you look ready to bolt. I know that we have talked about this, but I am not sure you believe me." Aaron wants to make sure that Robert isn't too overwhelmed, that they are still on the same page so that they can begin to move forward.

Robert takes a deep breath, trying to work out how to explain how he feels to Aaron.

“Um… I’m not sure you can say or do anything. I do believe you, I think as much as I can believe you anyway. It just feels like this is a dream that I am going to wake up from at any moment and then suddenly you will be what seems like a thousand miles away again.” Robert thinks this is the best way he can put it; he hopes it makes sense.

Aaron is quiet for a moment, once again being reminded of the gap between them that needs to be bridged, but with any luck, it's not a completely impossible task. The date had been a start and doing things like hanging out this morning will help.

“There’s not much I can do, apart from being here, is there?" Aaron finally concludes with a sigh as he realises this is the end result of a man who has been pushed away too many times and has lost all hope.

Robert shrugs his shoulders and then shakes his head sadly; saying “No, I don’t think so.”

 

So, they continue to spend time together, although it is in secret which is Robert's choice. He doesn't want everyone to see him mess up again, which he doesn’t say to Aaron but Aaron seems so keen to make him happy that he agrees. Aaron understands that Robert is nervous about this new relationship and he doesn't want to force Robert into anything, so he agrees to keep it quiet, for now.

 

It has been a few weeks of them hanging out, and if you didn't know any better, you would say they were just good friends, even if you were to catch them in private there is always a good foot or more between the two of them. It started out as part of the taking it slow, but neither of the men knew now who was maintaining this distance.

There had been a couple of really awkward moments at the end of a couple of their dates where one almost kiss the other just to bottle it and the evening instead would end with a polite, 'good night'. Considering how their relationship had started, it was starting to get a little weird, but both men were trying to avoid pushing the other into something that they were not ready for. 

But they were both having a really good time, getting to spend time together again; for the first time, they were having a proper dating period to their relationship. Liv was seeing them at the house and was glad to see that they seemed to be making each other happy, having finally both got their act together. Seeing them head out on one of their dates or just sitting together on the sofa watching telly laughing and joking at whatever happened to be on. Although watching them dance around each was so frustrating, she would very often make her excuses and leave them to whatever they had decided to entertain themselves with hoping that something might come of them being alone together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think, I am really interested to hear what you think x
> 
> [Come say Hi xx](https://ttttjay.tumblr.com/)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thanks for giving this a chance, I hope you enjoy x
> 
> Zo'e is a gem for squeezing me in x

Everything was going really well, although the only thing that seemed to be a problem at the moment was how slow things were moving. Maybe, it was because everything had always moved so fast with them before, that this was a bit of a shock, but Aaron had promised Robert that they would take things slow and given how nervous Robert had been Aaron was doing his very best to stick to that.

They were spending most of their free time together and really growing together in a way that they never had before, everything was just giving the chance to find their feet again.

 

"How are things going with Robert?" Liv was the only person that knew that they were trying again, and had been their chief cheerleader in so many ways.

"Yeah, good," Aaron responds as he makes breakfast for the both of them.

"So, you guys have been spending a lot of time together," Liv continues like it's news to Aaron.

"Yeah," Aaron says, confused by the statement it's all he can think of to respond.

"So, he's not been staying over?" She casually askes.

“Sorry, what?” Aaron exclaims.

"Well, you guys are back together, so I just assumed he would be moving back in or at the very least staying over.”

“Um… not yet I will have to let you know,” Aaron says trying to hide the slight redness creeping up his cheeks.

“What? Really?” Liv exclaimed, “I mean you have been less sickening then you were before but…”

"We're just taking things slowly that's all," Aaron defends.

"Yeah, but wow it's been like a month, have you guys even kissed?"

Aaron went a little redder at the question because no they hadn’t, Aaron wasn't sure if Robert had noticed, but it had caused a couple of awkward moments where Aaron had been trying to work out when was a good time, but in the end, he had always backed down.

"Oh, my god, really?" Liv exclaimed, “Wow, I am impressed, I mean I just thought you guys were just hiding it really well.”

"Can you just stop please?" Aaron begged, "We agreed to take things slow, and this is us taking it slow, can we please stop talking about this now?"

"Yeah, sorry, didn't mean anything by it."

“I know it’s just I really want this to work and Robert is so damn nervous that it seems the best way to go."

"Well, it's going okay so far?"

“Yeah, yeah, I think so.”

"Okay then, well, let me know," She says as she grabs a slice of toast and heads off for the day.

 

The small conversation with Liv was now playing on his mind, she really was asking about him staying over that wasn't even on the cards yet. Aaron wasn't sure which of them was making the decisions about this, but Aaron was just trying desperately to make sure that nothing went to fast.

 

Robert really had no one to talk to about everything with Aaron; he didn't want anyone to know yet failing was still too much of a concern. True to his word Aaron had taken everything really slowly and they were taking their time building the relationship that they hoped to have back.

But boy was it frustrating, Robert knew it was his choice and that it was for the best, but Aaron was so close sometimes that it wouldn't take much, but in the end, nothing happened.

"Hey stranger," Liv said as she walked past where Robert had been sitting thinking outside the café.

"Hey, off to school, you're almost finished now right?"

“Yeah, mainly working towards exams now,”

“How’s that going, revision I mean?”

"I'm getting there; I think," Liv says with a slight chuckle, who'd have thought she would be taking school seriously? "How are you and Aaron doing?" She decides to go with.

“Sssshhh, keep it down, but yeah it's fine," Robert says in a hushed voice.

"Sorry," Liv apologises realising her mistake, "Fine? Is that all?" She says going into super sleuth mode

“What, what’s wrong with fine?” Robert questions.

"Nothing, I was just asking," Liv states now having gotten Robert into a little bit of a spin, "Well, I have to get to school, see you later." She turns to walk off as Robert calls out "Bye" behind her.

 

Robert was now more confused and was just trying to work out if Liv’s response was something he should worry about. Had Aaron said something, was there a problem that he didn’t know about? He was seeing Aaron later on, but he knew that Aaron was at home and he had just seen Liv leave for school, so he decided to go and have a word with him.

 

Aaron is just finishing up breakfast when there is a knock at the door, walking over he sees Robert and opens the door with a smile because he was expecting to see him later but not now.

“This is a nice surprise,” he states as he walks back to continue cleaning up breakfast.

Robert can’t see anything wrong, Aaron seems his usual cheerful self and Robert watches a little as he moves around the table and the kitchen. There is a moment just a brief moment of hesitation before Robert walks over to where Aaron is now standing at the sink, he comes to lean next to the sink facing Aaron as he washes up. Aaron looks up from where he is running water into the sink, giving Robert a small smile, this has Robert moving automatically. He leans over the small distance and gently places his lips against Aaron's, Aaron lets out a small sound of surprise but kisses Robert back just as gently. The moment only lasts a few seconds and has them both a little flushed as they pull away, Robert can't help but chuckle which Aaron copies.

“Is that what you came over for?” Aaron asks clearing his throat trying to calm the fluster he now felt.

“I really don’t know,” Robert responded.

“Okay,” Aaron said giving him a confused look.

“I just wanted to see you,” Robert stated, “that happened by accident, I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Aaron asked with a frown, “Seemed like a happy accident to me.”

“It’s not too much?” Robert questions.

“Oh, I think we can survive a kiss,” Aaron said with a small teasing smile.

"And if I was to do it again?" Robert questions, slightly leaning in again.

Aaron smiles and meets him halfway.

It's a gentle kiss that lasts for a few minutes before they each pull away with soft smiles.

"Are you going to stand there or give me a hand to finish cleaning up?" Aaron says pointing to the drying dishes.

Robert chuckles and grabs a towel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas Everyone x
> 
> Please let me now what you think or [just come say hi x](https://ttttjay.tumblr.com)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone, thank you for your support and reading my attempts at writing xxx

They were both starting to realise how difficult taking things slow was, although taking it slow was not too bad, it was the dating aspect of it like actually going on dates. In an attempt to keep things casual they were still spending time together as pretty much friends, although that was partly due to not wanting to tell anyone yet. They were also trying to come up with date ideas they had never been on before and not just going out for dinner yet again.

 

It was such a cheesy idea that neither of them wanted to lay claim to it, but they were still going through with it. Bowling and the cinema, yes you heard right, bowling and the cinema. They were trying to do the casual dating thing and knocking ideas around somehow the idea popped up. There was a bit of an issue with the movie at first, but they decided whoever won the bowling would determine the film.

Having both started a little rusty they soon had a game going although Aaron was maybe a bit more than slightly, better than Robert. Aaron did try to help, but Robert insisted he was fine, he did well enough, but in the end, Aaron won.

They were queueing for the ticket to the film; Aaron turned and asked almost teasingly what film it was that Robert had wanted to see. Robert checks the board pointing it out; it would be starting in ten minutes. 

Aaron gets to the till and asks for two tickets, although Robert isn't paying much attention at this point. Aaron grabs the tickets and snacks and heads to the screen on the ticket. When they were both sitting down, they start tucking into the food they had, and they start talking about getting a burger or something after. As they are talking the lights begin to dim and the film starts to play, well the ten minutes of adverts. Eventually, the film starts and as the title card comes up, Robert realises that Aaron has brought the tickets to the film Robert had wanted to see.

Aaron was paying as little attention to his surroundings as possible not even acknowledging the thing he had done for Robert.

Robert sat there trying to enjoy the film, he had really wanted to see it, but he also had Aaron sitting next to him watching something that really wasn't something he would go and see. Very gingerly Robert reached out and took hold of Aaron's free hand it was not something they did often but in the dark of the cinema it seemed right.

In the end, Robert had managed to enjoy the film and Aaron had sat and held his hand pretty much all the way through. There was a moment when his arm clearly went to sleep, and so he pulled his arm away but left Robert's hand casually rest on his leg, this was bordering on teenager territory, but Robert loved it.

The film ended, and they sat and gave everyone else a chance to leave before making their way at the back of the crowd. They finally make it out into the car park finding the car, Robert can't help but reach across and pull Aaron in for a brief kiss. Pulling away both with a smile, Aaron starts the car and drives home.

They had kissed for the first time since trying a few days earlier, but it had not really happened again since. The whole evening and the build up through the last few months had served to give Robert more and more confidence in the relationship that he and Aaron were building. He still in so many ways could not believe that he had been given this second chance, but that also Aaron seemed to be in such a better place. Robert still couldn't see this change in himself that Aaron had talked about, but he was willing to try and get himself to a better place, even if things with Aaron didn't work out he was beginning to see that he needed to do it for himself if nothing else.

 

Arriving back in the village Aaron parks on the driveway to The Mill.

“Do you want to come in for a drink and we'll order food?” He asks.

Robert takes a minute, before giving Aaron a nod before they both get out of the car and head inside.

Once inside Aaron gets out the menu for the takeaway and some beers so they could place their order. While waiting, they sat on the sofa close enough together that Robert was brave enough to place his arm around Aaron's shoulders. Aaron shifted closer and rested his head against Robert relaxing and watching TV. 

Aaron is really starting to feel like Robert might be building in confidence in their relationship, he had managed to let go of a lot of the initial nervousness and see that they could make this work.

 

Liv comes home a few hours later to find the two men resting against each other asleep on the sofa, both clearly having had a few beers, the lingering smell of the local curry place and the telly still on. She was really happy for the both of them after everything she was glad that they could make each other happy she just hoped it would last.

Pulling the blanket from the back of the chair and draping it over the both of them she was interested to see what tomorrow would bring for all of them.

 

Robert woke up with a bit of an ache in his neck and a weight leaning against his shoulder, which he quickly realised, was Aaron. They had fallen asleep on the sofa, despite the sore neck, Robert had actually slept really well, but now he was panicking a little at having stayed. This was the first time he had spent the night with Aaron in such a long time; he had not meant to, there begins to be a panic that he can't quite explain. He slowly shifts out from underneath Aaron giving him room to lie down and Robert the chance to grab his stuff and leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does it help to know that they talk in the next chapter? 
> 
> Would love to hear what you think or just come say hi [@ttttjay](https://ttttjay.tumblr.com/) x


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nervous, Nervous, Nervous!
> 
> Thanks to Zo'e x

Aaron woke up on the sofa the following morning realising that Robert had gone, sitting up trying to work out what had happened and realised that he was not in the house. At that moment Liv came down and into the kitchen to make herself breakfast. Aaron got up and followed her into the kitchen to get some coffee.

“Is Robert gone?” She questioned as she put the kettle on and pulled mugs and dishes out of the cupboard and they both set about preparing breakfast together.

“Sorry?” Aaron questioned, not realising she had seen Robert.

“I came home to find you both asleep on the sofa, it was adorable,” she says clearly teasing.

“Oh, yeah, I’ll probably see him later,” Aaron decides that something must have come up that had caused Robert to leave, although leaving without saying anything was a bit worrying.

"So, did you have a good time last night on your teen date?" Liv asks having been teasing them about the idea beforehand.

"Yeah, I had a good time," Aaron said with a small smile but was also now hoping that Robert did too. He did appear to but his disappearance this morning is a little concerning; although there could be a perfectly simple explanation, he just needs to find out what it is.

 

Robert had gotten home, taken a shower and lay in bed basically staring at the ceiling as he tried to sleep. He had just got up and left Aaron, he had spent so long wanting Aaron back, and both of them had been working so hard on being together, and then he panics. Robert is so close to having the life he really wanted, and he had just run. As much as everything had been so good this is usually the point at which everything somehow manages to fall apart, he had been this close before and then lost it all; did he really believe that this time could be any different, could it?

Morning rolled round, and he decided that he might as well get up, he wondered if Aaron was up yet and had realised he wasn't there. How would he explain leaving and would Aaron even be bothered; would he even question it?

Deep down he knew these were all ridiculous questions and he would have to give Aaron an explanation for why he left but also, he had just really needed the space at that moment. There was so much of this that was so overwhelming, but he also knew that this was what he really wanted, and he would have to fight through the nerves and the fear for it.

And with a knock at the door, the moment was up.

 

Robert opens the door, Aaron standing on the other side with a look or relief but also confusion on his face, which is fair enough.

“Hey,” Robert says trying to break the tension that he is not sure if it’s just his imagination.

"Hi, are you alright?" Aaron asks still standing on the doorstep, once again trying not to push Robert, "You were gone when I woke up, so I just wanted to check."

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Robert replied stepping back to allow Aaron to come inside.

“Did I do something wrong?” Aaron steps through the door walking through to the kitchen before stopping to turn and look at Robert.

“What? No, no, of course not,” Robert defends although has a bit of trouble looking at Aaron as he says it.

“Okay, say that again but more convincing this time,” Aaron can tell Robert is not lying but also that he is still hiding something and he is really hoping that Robert will say what it is.

“I’m fine really; I just didn't want to outstay my welcome,” Robert is actually starting to feel slightly embarrassed and nervous about the whole situation.

“Out stay your welcome? We fell asleep on the sofa after a night out; I actually really liked having you there,” Aaron admits hoping it will help Robert to open up about whatever he is worrying about.

“Yeah, well like I said I didn't outstay my welcome," Robert tries to joke, but looking at Aaron, Robert can tell he isn’t buying it.

“What’s going on here Robert? There is something the matter, I can tell; please talk to me?" Aaron is actually starting to get a little worried, did staying the night together when all they had done was fall asleep on the sofa together really cause a problem for Robert.

Honesty Robert, honesty has always worked best with Aaron, Robert takes a deep breath.

“I woke up with you leaning against me, I realised I had stayed over, and it made everything feel slightly more serious,” Robert starts to explain.

“Okay,” Aaron replied, “is that a bad thing?”

"It's just a lot to take in, we have been here before, and it all fell apart,” Robert nervously explains. “It took such a long time to come back from that it’s just a little overwhelming to travel back down that road again.”

"I get that, that's why we're taking it slow, but if you think it's going too fast then we can take a step back,” Aaron knew this would be a lengthy process, but he really hoped they were getting somewhere.

"No, no, that's not it at all, I think that I realise that this is something I really want” Robert feels terrified but excited. Although there is another conversation that needs to be had, "You know I'm sorry,” he suddenly blurts out.

“I’m not mad that you left, you needed space,” Aaron answers clearly misunderstanding what Robert is trying to say.

“That’s not what I mean, the space between us, the mess that we are in, the relationship we are trying…” he takes a deep breathe, “I’m sorry that I did what I do best and messed it up.”

“Robert, I think you might be being a bit hard on yourself,” Aaron knows where this conversation is going, as Robert gives him a look. “Okay, so yes we managed to tumble down a rabbit hole, we had been doing it for months really.”

“But what I did,” Robert interrupts.

“Was so painful I couldn’t cope,” Aaron cuts him off.

“How can you forgive me for that?”

“Because I am not forgiving you for you, I am forgiving you for me,” Aaron repeats a statement he has been told more than once.

“But how can you really want to risk trying again with me,” Robert really needs to know he doesn’t think he can take this any further if he doesn’t.

“When I get past the hurt and the confusion of it all, I keep coming back to ‘messed up forever’. We both knew what we were getting ourselves in for, and I don’t think we expected it to become this messy but here we are.” Aaron pauses and is made a little unsure by the look on Robert's face.

“That’s our prospect is it; ‘messed up forever’ is that really how you want to live your life?” Robert is less than convinced by this statement. He can almost believe they haven't talked about this sooner, but he hadn't wanted to rock the boat on his second chance, and now he is so confused about the right thing to do.

Aaron interrupts his thoughts

“Why did you think that we were taking it slow, maybe think of it as redefining, we are giving ourselves a chance at something different. Everything has been for my benefit as well as yours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it, please let me know x
> 
> [This is me x](https://ttttjay.tumblr.com/)


	17. Chapter 17

Robert could not believe how everything had crept up on him everything had been going well and then suddenly he is in a panic, he had woken with Aaron resting against him and he almost didn't remember what happened next.  The conversation with Aaron went a little way to making him felt better, but he still doubted that he was really worth what Aaron was willing to give him.

He had tried to be better, he had tried to ‘be less Robert’ but did that mean that he had earned another chance with Aaron, it really felt like he was being given something he wasn’t entitled to.  There was the choice to tell Aaron it wasn't working that they were better off apart, but Robert had tried living without Aaron, and he really didn't want to go back to that. The only other option was to give it a chance, the one he had been hoping for months.

He had continued to see Aaron, but everything seemed to have taken a huge step back, Aaron wasn’t cold he just wasn’t close. Robert hadn’t realised how much things had changed in what felt like a really short amount of time, and now, had he messed up?

 

“What do you want to do this evening?” Robert askes trying to make sure that even if things are a little off, they can keep the rhythm they have been establishing.

"We could just stay here? Order in, watch a film if you want?" Aaron has been a bit nervous, he thought it would be a lot easier once he and Robert had started seeing each other, but Robert still had a lot more guilt than he realised. So, maybe he had backed off a little to give Robert some space.

Robert couldn’t quite pinpoint it, he was not cold, but distant, maybe not even distant but Robert was going to have to close the gap.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” Robert hoped this would be his chance.

 

So, that evening Robert makes sure to find a film that he knows Aaron would like the takeout is the same menu and choices they always make. It feels like it should be so comfortable, but Aaron is clearly trying not to crowd Robert, Robert lets him sit and eat and watch the first part of the film.

Soon there are empty plates and only the light coming from the telly but Aaron not sitting leaning against Robert like had gotten used to. Robert was slowly feeling more and more stupid about panicking the way he did especially if he had changed things between him and Aaron.  So, he carefully shifts over to where Aaron is sitting, placing a hand on his thigh, and leaning his head against his shoulder. Aaron shifts and gently places his arm around Robert's shoulder this allows Robert to move closer, from this position he can look up at Aaron who is watching the film he can't help but place a kiss on his cheek, just a quick peck but Aaron gets a small smile, and Robert settles back to watch the film.

The film finishes not that either of them sees it, but once again Liv walks into turn off the telly and covers them with a blanket.

 

Robert wakes to find himself balanced on the edge of the sofa with Aaron's arms around him almost preventing him from falling off. There is a small voice in the back of his head that he can tell is his panic, but there is also the warmth, comfort and strength of Aaron's arms wrapped around him and the reassurances that he had been given. He would stay here for as long as he could, both in Aaron's arms and in Aaron's life.

 

Aaron woke to a hand running along his back and breath on his neck, he could tell Robert was awake and it gave him hope that he hadn’t left like last time. Aaron decides to show that he is awake with a couple of gentle shifts that bring him and Robert face to face. They are so close their noses are brushing, and Aaron can see a small smile on Robert's face, Robert closes his eyes and takes a breath in through nose as he breathes out through his slightly parted lips Aaron can't help but close the small distance and kiss him.

Their lips meet, and Robert clearly wasn't expecting it, there is a small noise and a gentle push back, moving on instinct they both pull each other closer as they begin to make out. Bodies tight against each other, hands hold each other together and legs hooked together.

As their noses bump together and hands start to roam they both hear noise coming from upstairs, they push their luck for a few minutes longer before pulling away. There is a smile on each of their faces, and both had to take a moment before they could move but as they heard footsteps on the stairs they both shifted to sit up.

 

Liv had a pretty good idea of the situation she had just walked in on but decided not to comment, as even she had noticed the weird mood that had taken hold over the last few day.

"Morning," okay, so she couldn't help the smug tone of her voice.

"Hey," Aaron decides to ignore Liv's tone, "Breakfast?" he asks Robert.

“Yeah.”

They both work together getting everything ready, and to the table, Robert sits and watches over the back of the sofa and can't help but smile. Yeah, he definitely wants this; Aaron catches him watching and gives him a smile that Robert can feel in his toes, oh yeah this going to have to be pried from his cold dead hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does it feel like these boys are getting somewhere? let me know what you think. Thank you to everyone who has left comments and kudos, I do love them they make this whole process so much easier x
> 
> Thanks to Zo'e always
> 
> [Come say Hi x](https://ttttjay.tumblr.com/)


	18. Chapter 18

Robert sits through breakfast watching everything that is happening around him with a new hope, he’s been so afraid of everything failing that he almost didn’t allow himself to consider that this might work, that he might be able to keep hold of this life that is right in front of him.

When they finished eating, Liv left, so he and Aaron were left clearing up after breakfast, it was such a simple thing, but it allowed Robert to take in the situation with an openness and acceptance that he just hadn’t had until now. Before they had been trying to find their feet, Robert had been trying to accept the new reality that he was being presented with. Now he wanted to stretch his legs in it, find the deep connection that the two of them had always shared.

There was also the fact that the dates were getting to be a harder and harder thing to decide, and taking it slow may have started to slow them down a bit too much. Robert had taken some time to catch up to Aaron in his view of the relationship they had, and now he had he was starting to feel almost like himself again. He also needed to do something that would possibly be hard on them both and may even take them back a step but it would also help if not them then him move forward.

“Did you have any plans for today?” Robert asked.

“There’s some stuff to do at the yard, but that should only take me a few hours,” Aaron replied, continuing to clean up the kitchen.

Robert watched Aaron move around the kitchen and tried to decide if he is doing the right thing, he was nervous, but it does feel like the right thing.

“Meet me when you’re finished?” Robert asked.

“Sure, where?” Aaron replied, giving him a questioning look.

 

A few hours later Aaron pulled up to a familiar barn, it made him nervous and made him smile at the same time. Getting out of the car he wondered not for the first time since he had gotten the message why Robert wanted to meet him here.

He stepped inside finding Robert who looked up at the sound of the door being opened. He stood up as Aaron walked inside.

“Hey,” Aaron said, taking in his surroundings and seeing very little change apart from the area that Robert had cleared and left in it’s place a blanket, food, the makings of a picnic.

“Hey,” Robert says with a nervous smile.

“Why are we back here?” Aaron feeling the history of the place has to ask the question.

“It seemed right,” Robert says taking a brief look around realising that without explanation it must seem an odd choice, maybe it is without an explanation, but it felt right to him.

“Right for what,” Aaron is clearly getting more and more confused.

“To toast you and me making a fresh start,” Robert says probably confusing Aaron more.

“But it’s been weeks, months?” Aaron is right but that is not the whole truth of the situation.

“Yes, but it has taken us a while to find our way and for me to catch up,” Robert continues trying to get to the slightly more difficult part of this conversation.

Aaron nods and smiles but is made nervous by how Robert is building up to something else.

“It has also gotten to a point that there is something we need to talk about and I need to do.”

Aaron watches as Robert holds up his left hand and gave a small tug to the ring on his finger, causing Aaron to step closer.

“What are you doing?” Aaron is now even more confused and maybe even a little panicked. Robert holds the ring between his fingers for Aaron to see.

“Wearing this ring has been the memory of a relationship that was one I wished could have survived but didn’t; I have been wearing it trying to hold on to something that I lost. And now I need to let go of it in order to move forward; to give us a chance now. I want to give it to you to look after, like I have looked after yours.”

He pulls out a ring box which Aaron automatically reaches for, opening it to see a silver band which he carefully runs his thumb over it, then closing the box with a deep breath. Robert pulls out another box that looks the same which he opens showing it to be empty and placing the ring he just removed inside, then handing it to Aaron.

“I can keep them both if you want but I was hoping that you would take this one,” Robert says as Aaron takes it from him.

“So what we save them for later?” Aaron now has both boxes, he looks down at them both have a weight that he didn’t realise something so small could have.

“We save them for when we are ready,” there is a confidence in Roberts voice as he reaches for the box that contains Aaron’s ring.

“Another thing we are going to give a second try?” Aaron says with a smile.

“It’s worked so far?” Robert replies returning the smile.

Aaron releases the box that he still had hold of so Robert could take it.

“So I keep yours and you keep mine, and when we get there we can give them back?”

“I think it makes more sense than one of us wearing one and the other not.”

Aaron had not seen or worn his ring in months but suddenly he missed it, suddenly he felt the loss of it that he hadn’t quite allowed himself to feel. So standing in that barn with neither wearing them and both knowing they weren’t ready for it quite yet, he places the box in his hand in his pocket and steps forward to wrap a hand around the back of Robert’s neck and pulled him in to kiss him. As Robert kissed him back he realised there were tears running down his cheeks, Robert noticed and pulled away now worried this may have been the wrong thing to do.

“This doesn’t mean I don’t love you” he says before clamping his mouth shut realising what he had said. Aaron just looks up at him and smiles.

“I know, I know, I love you too.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this before Robert took his ring off on screen but it felt like an important step for them to take so they can move forward in this story.
> 
> Thanks for reading and the comments, please continue to let me know what you think x
> 
> And big thanks to Zo'e for giving it the once over x
> 
>  
> 
> [Come say Hi x](https://ttttjay.tumblr.com/)


	19. Chapter 19

What should have probably felt like a step back; had actually given them both a chance to really latch on to what this was, a fresh start. It was becoming more and more obvious to everyone around the village and they did nothing to stop the rumours. Even Liv had been amazing at keeping quiet, although Aaron suspected that she had been talking to his mum as she had yet to corner him. Though the look he was currently getting from across the pub as he sat with Robert having a quiet tea seemed to indicate that maybe that was all about to change.

“Mum is getting twitchy,” Aaron pointed out to Robert.

“You think you need to talk to her?”

“Only if you don’t mind.”

Robert took a deep breath and looked around the pub, they were mainly being ignored but there are the same glances they have been getting for weeks, questioning looks as to how he and Aaron are even in the same room let alone having a meal together.

“Aaron and I are back together,” Robert says looking at Chas, waiting for her objection. Instead there was the quiet whispers that he was expecting, a shriek from Vic who he was starting to suspect had been the source of these rumours and a huff and an eye roll from Chas which he couldn’t tell if that was a good or bad sign.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Aaron said.

“Well, what’s one more announcement in the pub going to do, especially when they all already know or suspect something.”

“Well, now I definitely have to talk to her,” Aaron states getting up. “You’ll be alright here?”

“I think Vic is about to pop so I might have to talk to her too,” Robert says looking at his sister across the pub, “You go talk to Chas, I’ll be fine.”

 

Aaron gets up to no doubt calm any worries that Chas has, and as Aaron leaves Vic slides into the seat opposite.

“So it’s true?” She says with a smirk.

“Like you didn’t know,” he says giving her a look.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asks looking a little hurt.

“Because we were taking it slow,” Robert reaches across the table take her hand, “We are still taking it slow, but we are getting better,” he says with a smile she hasn’t seen in a while.

 

Aaron walked up to the bar trying to decide if he should just head to the back room for this conversation. In the end Chas just walks over to where he is standing at the bar.

“Are you happy?” She asks and waits for him to answer, Liv has definitely been keeping her up to date.

“Yeah,” Aaron says with a smile, causing Chas to smile back at him.

“If he hurts you I will kill him,” she warns before she turns and walks away to continue serving.

 

“Well, that went better than I expected,” Aaron could hear how relieved Robert was, making him realise that he was a lot more nervous than Aaron had thought.

“I don’t think it was that much of a surprise,” Aaron said trying to make light of the situation.

“I suppose it is a small village,” Robert parroted the familiar statement back at Aaron with a sigh.

“Are you okay?” Aaron needed to check, he hadn’t wanted Robert to do anything that he wasn’t comfortable with.

“Yeah, this was the part I was nervous about but now it’s done, it’s a relief.”

“Well, my mum did threaten to kill you if you hurt me,” Aaron smiled at Robert as he says it.

“That sounds about right,” Robert replies with a smile back.

They manage to finish their food without any further drama although the whole thing has left them both feeling a bit lighter and the smiles that they are both now sporting seems to reflect that.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Robert finally suggests placing his hand on Aaron’s thigh.

“Yeah, yeah that would be good,” Aaron takes hold of Robert’s hand giving it a small squeeze as he starts to get up and leading the way out of the pub.

 

As they are walking back to The Mill Robert can’t help but glance at Aaron, he has spent months trying to get over him, then months trying to make sense of this new relationship that they’re trying to build and now he finally feels like he is at a place where it is starting to make sense to him. They are back at the beginning, not at the very start but at a place where this could be a healthier relationship. He can see that Aaron has grown in the time they spent apart and Robert now knows what it means to lose the world they are building so maybe that has changed him, he hoped that was enough to not lose this again.

 

When they get back to The Mill, Aaron opens the front door and starts walking to the kitchen when Robert grabs his hand and pulls him back just gently enough that he turns so they are facing each other. Robert takes a brief moment before stepping forward and kissing Aaron, there is just so much emotion is running through him it seems to be the only way to let it out.

“Can we?” He asks trying not to push.

“Are you sure?” Aaron is a little lost in the kiss and so takes a minute to catch up. They haven’t been anywhere near the bedroom they both used to share, that’s not to say they both didn’t miss it but neither had brought it up and it just seemed to be part of the taking it slow agreement.

Robert gives him a smile that causes Aaron lean in and kiss him making them move closer together, Robert uses the hand that had grabbed Aaron's wrist to run his hand up his arm to place his hand in the small of Aaron’s back, holding him close. His other hand reaches up to cup his face while Aaron places his hands on Roberts’ hips trying to give them both a little bit of room.

“Yeah?” Aaron asks.

“Yeah” Robert nods and they begin back up towards the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so just as a warning the next chapter (Just that chapter) is going to be smut, sweet smut but not anything I have included in the tags yet (I will update). I hope that doesn't bother any one too much.
> 
> Thanks to all those who read, leave kudos and comment I very much love each and everyone of them x
> 
>  
> 
> [Come say Hi x](https://ttttjay.tumblr.com/)


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the change in rating and new tags x
> 
> Hope you enjoy xx
> 
> Thanks to Zo'e xx

They had to stop kissing to get up the stairs, once at the top Aaron goes to open the door but he pauses briefly turning to look at Robert.

“Are you sure?” he questions, not sure why this felt like such a big step.

Robert just moves up behind Aaron and opens the door as an answer.

Aaron smiles as he makes his way into the room, he turns to watch Robert close the door, when Robert turns Aaron is standing in front of him close enough that he can lean in and kiss Aaron. As he does he grabs the hem of Aaron’s top, while Aaron returns the favour and begins undoing the buttons on Robert’s shirt. Robert uses the moment to run his hand under Aaron’s top over his back and stomach. When Aaron has undone the buttons on his shirt he uses the moment to lift Aaron top up and over his head,  freeing his hands from the sleeves  Aaron moves to push Robert’s shirts off his shoulders as Robert undoes Aaron’s trousers, forgetting that the cuffs of the shirt mean the shirt would get caught on Robert’s hands.  They are laughing as they have to break away from kissing to undo the buttons and Robert gets the shirt off, while Aaron undoes Robert’s trousers.

“Just get it all off,” Robert says as he removes the rest of his clothes.

They continue kissing but once they are both naked Robert pushes Aaron on to the bed, both ending up facing each other on their sides kissing, hands roaming, exploring, remembering the way the other feels, mapping out old familiar territory while getting lost in the moment neither wanting to rush.

“Where is it?” Robert asks as Aaron’s lips move down to his neck, Aaron motions to the drawer next to the bed, Robert reaches across and takes out the lube and a condom.

Aaron never taking his lips from Robert’s neck looking for and finding the spot that makes Robert grown, his hand roaming down Robert’s chest and stomach until he reaches the base of his cock. Wrapping his hand around it, he begins gently stroking, causing Robert to pause and gasp letting himself enjoy the sensation for a moment.

Lying on his side pressed against Aaron he squeezes lube onto his fingers and guides his hand down to Aaron’s arse and running his finger over his hole making Aaron gasp against his neck at the cold sensation. Robert takes his time allowing the lube to warm up and feel Aaron against his neck with his hand wrapped around Robert’s cock. When he finally pushes in the first finger Aaron pulls away from his neck although he does keep a grasp on Robert’s cock which he is now almost just holding moving his hand when he remembers. Watching Aaron with his eye shut and mouth open as he is breathing through the sensation of being stretched makes Robert lean forward and kiss him which Aaron tries his best to reciprocate but he pulls away as Robert adds more fingers.

Robert almost gets lost in watching Aaron and it is when Aaron lets go of him and moves to grab the condom which he opens and rolls it onto Robert’s cock, that Robert realises how hard he has gotten. Keeping his fingers inside Aaron as he moves in between his legs, as he removes his hand and uses the lube on his hand to coat himself at the same time as guide himself to Aaron’s hole.

Pushing in so just the head of his cock breaches he takes a minute and look up at Aaron’s face to see him looking back at Robert as he wraps his legs around the back of Robert’s thighs, using the position to push him in at the same time reaching up to pull Robert down into a kiss. This motion causes Robert to become fully seated inside Aaron although Aaron is now holding him so that he is unable to move with his arms wrapped around him and his calves against the back of Robert’s thighs. Robert holds this position for as long as he can before he gently tries to move, Aaron allows the tiniest amount of movement wanting Robert to be close and to keep up the sensation that is being created against his prostate with Robert’s gentle movements.

Gradually the movement between them grows as the sensation builds for Aaron where he can no longer hold on to Robert and Robert builds the pace, he reaches between them to take Aaron’s cock in hand which no longer has the sensation of their bodies moving together. There is now just an over load of sensations which just become about reaching the climax. Robert holds out until Aaron comes and then follows a few moments later before collapsing on to Aaron as they both pant and come down from their orgasms.

The both lie together until Aaron taps Robert on the back. Robert surprised by all the signals that they automatically go back to using, pulls out and gets up to get rid of the used condom, as Aaron follows to clean himself off. They both fall back into bed, they lie facing each other neither too sure what to say when Aaron places a gentle kiss on Robert’s lips.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Are you okay?” Aaron finds himself needing to ask.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Robert smiles at him.

“Just checking,” is all Aaron can think to reply.

“You’re worried I am going to freak out again,” Robert lightly teases, only because the worry had vaguely crossed his mind too.

“Might be a bit insulted if you just disappeared on me again,” Aaron tried to joke; it did earn him a small chuckle from Robert.

“Well, there is nothing to worry about; I’m still here aren’t I?”

Aaron gives him a smile and leans in to kiss him, they lie there gentle holding and kissing until they fall asleep, much too early in the day but into a more comfortable sleep then either of them had had in months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all those who have read, left kudos and commented x   
> Please continue to let me know what you think it is helping me write x
> 
> [This is me, come say Hi xx](https://ttttjay.tumblr.com/)


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second to last chapter, let's go!

They lay in bed asleep from having been up a few times throughout the night, although both having had the best night sleep. As the sunlight came in through the gaps in the curtains they both lay wrapped in each other’s arms almost looking to be one body, maybe they were now. One of them stirred neither could tell you which as they both then begun to wake shifting impossibly closer to the warm body next to them. There were gentle hands and gentle kisses with neither of them even opening their eyes.

Both men now content to just lay together in the close contact they had spent most the night re-establishing.

“Breakfast? Aaron asks through half-open eyes.

“In a bit, just want to lay here a bit longer,” Robert has spent so long waiting he just wants to hold on to this moment a little while longer.

Aaron just nods letting his eyes slip shut again, he was just as happy to stay in this bubble as Robert.

 

After a few more hours of lying together in bed, they both got up having decided that breakfast was the best option and headed down to the kitchen. They had spent months getting back into the rhythm of being together and it was now starting to become effortless. They moved around the kitchen although, in the end, Robert took over most of the cooking and Aaron was leant against the counter as they made small talk and share the occasional gentle kiss.

Once breakfast was made they called Liv down who could clearly see something had changed between the two of them. She sat down to eat and was almost completely ignored as they continued what seemed to be a private moment that she felt like she was a little intruding on.

In the end, she cleared her throat which seemed to get their attention, causing them both to blush.

“So, how was your evening?” She asks knowing full well that Robert had stayed over and had not slept on the sofa as she had gotten used to.

Aaron turns even redder and Robert can’t help but chuckle causing Aaron to give him a slight nudge, which stopped him from laughing but didn’t wipe the smirk off his face.

“So, what are you up to today?” Aaron questions in an attempt to change the subject.

“Well, that depends do I need to vacate the house?” Liv throws back, with a smirk to rival Robert’s, although Robert couldn’t hold in the laugh that had now worked its way up his throat.

“Well, don’t worry I was planning on going into town so you’ll have the place to yourself,” she says with a grin as she gets up and clears her plate off the table heading upstairs.

“How long do you think she is going to keep that up?” Aaron questions with a sigh.

“Well, what did you expect?” Robert reaches over a takes Aaron’s hand with a small smile.

“Yeah, I suppose. We have the day to ourselves, what do you want to do?” Aaron asks as he finishes his breakfast.

“Do you know I would just love to hang out, find a film or something to watch just spend time with you,” Robert says realising that this is what they have been working towards, yes all the big milestones have been important but there were the little ones too. Just being able to spend the day together in each other’s company with both of them being comfortable in where they have ended up.

So the day went by with a calm and peace that could have almost been boring if it hadn’t been for the joy they both found in it. The sofa was a great place to lie together and work their way through anything they could find worth watching on the telly or Netflix, holding each other, touching each other, falling asleep in brief moments that showed just how peaceful they both were. Later as they got hungry they almost planned to go out but, in the end, decided to order in, sitting and eating making small talk that was about nothing but meant everything to them both.

 

 

A few weeks later Liv comes home to a recently familiar sight of the two of them asleep on the sofa, it was still early so she came in a flicked the kettle on giving Aaron a gentle nudge to wake him.

“Hey, I’m back. I just put the kettle on if you wanted one?” She asks hoping just to spend a little time with her brother.

“Yeah, that would be good,” Aaron replies as he carefully gets up making sure not to wake Robert.

He walks into the kitchen as Liv is getting a couple of mugs out, he sits down at the table watching her.

“Did you have a good day?” He questions almost just making conversation.

“Yeah, tired though,” she replies as she brings the mugs to the table. Aaron sits with his hands wrapped around his mug wondering if the conversation he wanted to have with Liv was the right thing.

“Are you okay with Robert being here?” Aaron finds himself asking just because he feels like he needs to check.

“Yeah, he makes you happy and he’s not that bad to be around,” she says teasingly.

“What if I was to ask him to move back in?” Aaron is almost worried about the response he is going to get.

“Is that what you want? Is that what he wants?” She asks almost surprised everything had been so slow up to this point that the question almost seemed out of the blue.

“It’s something I’m thinking about, I mean it doesn’t feel like that big of a deal at this point,” Aaron replies realising Liv was having the same concern that he thought Robert might have. “Although, I did want to check with you before anything happened,” he added letting her know that she did have a say in the decision.

“He is already here so much I don’t think it would make that much of a difference at this point, but thanks for asking,” she gets up having finished her tea and heads upstairs.

“How much of that did you hear?” Aaron asks once Liv is gone.

“As much as you wanted me to,” Robert replies sitting up and looking over the sofa at Aaron. Aaron moves to sit next to him looking at each other both trying to decide if they are ready for this conversation.

“It’s just a thought I have been having since we talked about the rings and moving forward, this seems like something that is the next step for us but I don’t want to push or for it to be too soon.” Aaron hadn’t actually realised how much the idea had been playing on his mind but the more he thought about it the more it seemed like the right thing to do.

“Liv is right it wouldn’t be much different, I just wouldn’t have all my stuff in my sister’s spare room,” Robert says with a small smile that says he is excited but nervous.

“Robert, would you like to move in with me?” Aaron decides to just bite the bullet, “No pressure though,” he is quick to add.

“Yeah,” Robert smiles, “Yeah, I would.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go! Thanks to everyone x
> 
> Would people be interested in sending me prompts? I am still trying to get better at writing so we could see how that goes? Maybe?
> 
> [Message me on Tumblr x](https://ttttjay.tumblr.com/)


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it x
> 
> I would like to give big thanks to Pauline for the prompt that created this story.
> 
> And even bigger thanks to Zo'e for her encouragement and help, I couldn't have done it without you xxx

Getting Robert moved in was fairly uneventful, he hadn’t actually collected that much stuff since he moved out, but they got everything in and unpacked. Then spent the evening in much the same way they had over the last few months, with food and telly but most importantly together.

 

The funny thing about living together is how quickly a routine is formed, there were some differences but they knew each other. They had lived together before so once the new rhythm was found it was almost like they had never been apart.

Their new relationship felt like it had been built on stronger foundations and with two people who were still working at it; it was getting better. Both had learned what it was like to lose a life they had so badly wanted, and were trying to make sure that they wouldn’t lose that again. The dates they had been going on were still a regular thing although sometimes the effort of trying to make sure they did something became too much and they would end up back on the sofa or having never left the bedroom.

 

Taking their time was still at the forefront of everything they did, they had gotten so close to what they had before, a better healthier version that now there was a question constantly burning in Aaron thoughts.

They would make breakfast together, even just tea and toast each moving around the kitchen to get the day started and suddenly Aaron would be caught by the image of Robert half dressed making the tea and not be able to see anyone else in his place.

They would be working across from each other; just the quiet tapping of computer keys or the scratch of the pen across the paper, and Aaron would look up and see the pen between Robert’s teeth as he typed on the keyboard, an image that just made him fall for him all over again.

Sat curled up on the sofa laughing and chatting ignoring whatever was playing on the telly in the background. It’s probably not what they first put on, but the programme has changed and neither is paying enough attention to notice.

As they lie together, as they move together, as they take all the time in the world that they now have Aaron maybe thinks he sees the same look on Robert’s face like he is going to ask a question but changes his mind. Wrapped up in each other as they fall asleep Aaron makes the decision that this is something that he is going to have to do.

 

The plan had been perfect, he had found a great spot and the perfect afternoon, he had set everything up before they got there making sure that Robert couldn’t see it till the very last moment. He had managed to get Robert to the spot without too many questions, which might be a bit of a lie, but he got him there. It was the middle of the afternoon, hence the questions, but Aaron got Robert to where he had set out a blanket and a basket with enough food to feed a small army and a small box tucked away in his pocket. Robert just gave him a look that was trying to decide whether or not to tease him about the setup, he seemed to decide against it. This was probably for the best as Aaron was so nervous he was about to change his mind about the whole thing, maybe Robert could tell.

“Thought we’d have lunch,” Aaron states clearly very nervous about the setup. Robert places a finger under his chin lifting his head from where he suddenly becomes very interested in his shoes.

“It’s perfect,” Robert reassures him before leaning forward to place a gentle kiss on his lips, pulling away with a smile. “Come on before it gets cold,” Robert joked causing Aaron to smile and it helped rid him of some of his nerves.

They sit and eat in the comfortable way they have become so used to, Aaron almost forgets about the ring and plan when Robert looks at him in a way that makes him lose himself for a moment before he clears his throat and starts to try and form the sentences he needs for this.

“Um…Robert…” Aaron gets his hand into his pocket.

There is a brief moment where he pauses to collect his breath as he feels something hit his face. Robert at that moment looks up to realise that dark clouds that had not been forecast had appeared above them.  At that moment Robert goes to pack up everything to get out of the rain that is about to come down on them.

“NO...” Aaron says much louder then he expected to, Robert stopped with the blanket he was trying to fold in hand and a confused look on his face.

“We can’t sit here in the rain,” Robert states looking at Aaron, as they both are kneeling on the grass in the rain like he has gone slightly mad.

“I wanted to do this here, now,” Aaron has the ring box in his hand in his pocket waiting to be pulled out, so he grabs Robert’s left hand hoping this is not the worst idea ever.

“Robert,” the rain is starting to get heavier but Robert is now caught up in whatever Aaron has decided now is the perfect time to do. “I know that we have come so far and that we have been taking things slowly but I also have this,” Aaron reveals his hand showing his fingers wrapped around a small black box, he opens his fingers, so it is balancing on his palm and looks back up at Robert trying to read his expression.

“I was hoping that you would be willing to wear it again, that you would agree at some point in the future, to marry me?” There is a tiny pause that always has Aaron panicking and about to start explaining the lack of pressure in the situation when Robert with a smile on his face gives an answer.

“Yes, yes, of course, I will,” Robert replies with tears in his eyes which he might later try and blame on the rain. Aaron is opening the box to take out the ring and place it on Robert’s finger.

He leans forward placing his hands on either side of Aaron’s face and takes the moment to kiss him, long and deep and gentle, with one hand going to the back of his head and the other wrapping around his waist. After a moment they part with foreheads still touching and rain running down their faces but with huge smiles on both their faces.

“I don’t have yours on me,” Robert points out, and Aaron smiles.

“I think it might to time to head back anyway,” he says with a chuckle because they are both now soaked through.

 

They manage to collect all the stuff and get it back home, ironically the best way to dry out the clothes was to stick them in the washing machine, having got changed in to dry clothes and put everything in the machine, and Robert now takes his moment.

This had been a distant dream, a dream he’d let go of, one he had been actively avoiding the chance of the same heartbreak happening again. Now there was no denying that it was going to come back round to them eventually no matter what either of them thought. Robert was overwhelmed by the emotion of it all and was almost at a loss for what to say.

“Aaron, I want you to know how grateful I am for having been able to give this another go, and that we have made it work. I also know that there isn’t anyone else I think this would have worked with, so that is why I want to give you your ring back so that, you would agree to at some point in the future, to marry me?” Robert says with a smile as he parrots Aaron’s words back to him. Aaron smiles a smile that brings tears to Robert’s eyes from the happiness he can see, Aaron has a redness to his eyes that says he is in the same state as Robert.

“Yes, I think it goes without saying but yes,” Aaron holds out his hand for Robert to pushes the ring back into its rightful place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there we are, I am not sure what else to say other than thank you to every one of you that have read, gave kudos, subscribed and commented. I am glad that people have liked it enough to come back and read more it has been a wonderful learning experience and I hope that I can write more for you to enjoy.
> 
> On that note I would also like to say that I am opened to prompts and suggestions for future stories you can send those [here](https://ttttjay.tumblr.com/ask), I am still finding my feet as to the writer I am so welcome all the challenges that come with that.
> 
> Once again thank you and as always [come say hi x](https://ttttjay.tumblr.com)


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